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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26239234">We Could Be Beautiful</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderdyke/pseuds/tenderdyke'>tenderdyke</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hamilton - Miranda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops &amp; Cafés, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, Mild alcohol and drug use, Mutual Pining, Smut, but like just a casual amount nothing extreme, def more than this but i can't think of the tags rn, oh there's also smut in this, there's a lot more relationships as well but they're v v background, uhhh the pining doesn't go on for too long don't worry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:21:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,175</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26239234</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderdyke/pseuds/tenderdyke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex, a young, scrappy and hungry college kid who's terrified of feelings and happens to have quite a lot of them.<br/>John, a tired law student who's coming to the realisation that working in a coffee shop might not provide as little tension as he thought.<br/>Lafayette, a marquis enjoying his time in America, who's taking great enjoyment watching his two close friends fall for each other.<br/>Hercules, who's honestly just chilling.</p>
<p>(Primarily Gay Trio)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The New Guy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>first chapter is pretty short, sorry! the others are longer, I promise :) updates will come every monday and friday. any triggers will be mentioned at the start of the chapter if they apply. also i'm so sorry if there's any tense changes, i decided after 60 pages i liked it better in present tense than in past and spent 3 hours going through and changing it. anyway thanks for reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Fuck, sorry, shit, I- Okay, I’m here! Sorry I’m late, everyone!” A somewhat bedraggled man crashes into the room, wincing at the sound of something falling over as he shuts the door behind him. Running a hand through his dark, shoulder-length hair and quickly pulling it into a low bun, he smiles apologetically. “I, um, well, it’s actually kind of a long story but-”</p><p>“Thank you, Alexander. Take a seat.” suppressing a smile, Washington, Alex’s boss, motions to an empty chair. </p><p>“Yes, sir.” he says, sitting down next to Lafayette. Nudging him with his foot, he leans forward as Washington returns to what he had been saying before he had been interrupted. “Hey, what’s the meeting about?”</p><p>Laf grins at Alex out of the corner of his eye and whispers back, “I am not sure, actually. You only got here a couple minutes after I did. Something to do with the accounts and our charming new coworker, I think.” he nods toward a guy who looked around their age, early twenties, who was sitting near Hercules. He looks a little nervous, Alex contemplates, his freckled face paying close attention to what Washington is saying. <em>He’s cute. Not just cute, he’s, like, really good looking</em>. Alex watches the new kid for a minute before nodding and sitting back, tuning in to whatever his boss is talking about.</p><p>“-and so, I’m sure you’ll all agree with me that this is the right move for us. It’s a step forward for the company and will help pave the way to our future. Any questions?” raising an eyebrow at him, Washington looks pointedly at Alex, who just raises his palms in a gesture of innocence. “Hm. Well, thank you for your time, everyone. You may get back to work now.”</p><p>A beat passes and everyone gets up, filing out of the so-called ‘conference room’, which is in actuality, a small storage room and cleaning supply closet. Going to leave with his coworkers, Alex stops when he feels a hand on his arm. </p><p>“Son, I need to speak with you a moment.” Washington's face looks down at him and Hamilton gulps. This is it. He’s getting fired. He isn’t sure why, exactly, but that must be it. Oh god, did Washington hear him run off his mouth at Jefferson yesterday? Or did he- “You came in late, so I’m not sure you heard, but, well, Lee left us yesterday. He will no longer be working here.”</p><p>“Oh thank god, fucking finally!” sighing in relief, a grin breaks out on Alex’s face. “He was always such an asshole, what happened?”</p><p>“Alex,” reprimands Washington, stifling his own smile. “The details of Lee’s termination are not for you. There is, however, the matter of Lee’s old position; handling the accounts, treasurer, if you will. I would like you to take over this position. It comes with all the previous benefits of the job, with a raise, of course. I’ll give you some time to think about it, but I’d like to know your decision by Friday at the latest.” </p><p>Eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar, Alex gapes at the older man. After a split second of speechlessness, he shoots up, nodding his head frantically. “I’ll take it, sir! Thank you, oh my god, you won’t regret this, thank you!” he grabs Washington’s hand with both of his, shaking it firmly. </p><p>A chuckle escapes his boss’s mouth at his behaviour. “Don’t let me down, son. I’ll send you the revisions to your contract by email this afternoon. Now, get back to work.” He ushers him out of the room, a twinkle in his eye.</p><p>Alex walks out of the conference room feeling somewhat dazed, but happy. It’s going to be a good day, he decides. </p><p>As he approaches the door leading out of the hallway, he takes a breath and braces himself, a genuine smile plastered on his face. Opening the door, he takes in the view before him. Liberty Coffee is fairly busy, for 10am on a Tuesday. Okay, so right now the view before him is just the kitchen, but through the doorway on the other side of the small room he can see the usual hustle and bustle of the coffee shop. It’s one of Alex’s favourite places in the world. It’s warm and inviting and smelled of fresh pastries and, well, coffee. Plus, some of his closest friends work there with him; Lafayette, the debonair frenchman who, it seemed to most, had just wandered into the place one day and began working there, and Hercules Mulligan, Alex’s old roommate from college.</p><p>“Alex, there you are! I was starting to get worried,” Hercules comes over and punches him lightly on the arm. “You good?” </p><p>“Yeah, everything’s great,” he replies honestly, unable to shake the smile from his face. “You coming to mine tonight? I’ll tell you more then.” </p><p>Hercules nods, curious, but quickly snaps out of it. “Cool, man. Oh, can you help me with the specials real quick?” </p><p>Nodding, Alex makes his way through the kitchen to the front counter. As he walks, his eyes flit around the shop and land on the new guy. Standing in a ray of sunlight, he’s positively glowing, Alex realises, his head thrown back in a laugh as Lafayette recounts some undoubtedly scandalous tale. His freckles blur as he moves, making the orders the patrons of the coffee shop are trying to tell Laf in between bits of his story. </p><p>“Alex, I need eight scones and six double choc muffins. Oh, and one of Laf’s french strawberry things!” Hercules calls from the kitchen, breaking Alex out of his trance. Shaking his head briefly, Alex starts putting the orders on a tray. </p><p>On the far side of the counter, by the coffee machines, John watches Alex as he moves, expertly picking out pastries without checking labels.</p><p>“And then,” Lafayette giggles, trying to regain his composure so he can finish his story. “And then, her father came home to find me tied up in her bed, while she was sat in the, what is the word, the kitchen! Making toast! Oh, he was so embarrassed.” as he wipes a tear away and composes himself, Laf looks over to John to see his reaction.</p><p>“Oh, wow, that’s a hell of a story, Laf.” John quickly supplies, his mind still full of thoughts about Alex.</p><p>“Ah, mon ami, I see your thoughts are occupied. It is a shame, of course, that you do not appreciate my tales, but alas. Who am I to stand in the way of young love?” </p><p>John rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. “Fuck off, Laf, there’s no young love here. I haven’t even spoken to him yet. The only reason I know his name is because you’ve told me about him.”</p><p>“You say that, but I see the way your eyes are on Monsieur Hamilton. I know you are hiding feelings. Lafayette knows!” the frenchman nods, feeling very wise. </p><p>Sighing exasperatedly, John turns back to the coffee machine. Okay, so maybe part of the reason he’d taken the job was because Laf had mentioned Alex working there as well. He’d seen pictures of him on Lafayette’s instagram (fine, he’d looked at Alex’s profile as well, but it was pretty bare, only three posts and both from over two years ago) and, well, if he’s being honest? He thought he was cute. And John knows for a fact Alex is into guys, thanks to Lafayette posting a group picture from that year's pride parade where Alex was wearing a tee with ‘<em>I put the bi in bitch</em>’ emblazoned on it.</p><p>Just then, Alex himself wanders over to the two of them. “Why is it so goddamn hot in the kitchen? Why won’t Washington spring for AC? Honestly, you’d think he’s trying to kill us.” he groans, running his hands down his face and letting his elbows rest on the counter. “Anyway, hi! I’m Alexander Hamilton. You’re the new guy, right? Sorry, I was late so I didn’t catch that part of the meeting.” he beams, sticking a hand out in John’s face.</p><p>John smiles back, shaking Alex’s hand. “Uh, yeah, I’m John. Nice to meet you.” he says, mind racing. Damn, he’s even cuter in person. He saw him when he stormed into the meeting, but he’d been so focused on Washington and not messing up his first day that he didn’t dare sneak a glance at him. </p><p>“So what brings you to us, John?” Alex asks, leaning against the counter.</p><p>“Oh, Lafayette told me you guys were hiring, and I needed a job, so…” shrugging, he trails off. He rubs his neck sheepishly. “I may or may not have gotten fired from my last job for getting in too many fights. I felt like a coffee shop wouldn’t bring the same kind of tension.”</p><p>“You’d be surprised,” Alex winks at him, and John feels his cheeks heat up. “You and Lafayette know each other, huh? Where’s he been hiding you?”</p><p>Laf, overhearing the conversation, bursts in. “John and I met at the gym! Isn’t that right, mon ami?” Without even giving John a chance to answer, he chatters on, “Ah, yes, I remember it well. I was at the running machine, what is the word, ah, treadmill! I was at the treadmill and then there was a loud crash and I turned around and saw John-”</p><p>“And that’s enough of that story!” John, remembering how the story goes, interjects quickly. Laf pouts but decides to respect his friend’s wishes. “But yeah, we met at the gym a couple months ago.” </p><p>“Huh,” Alex nods thoughtfully, eyes flicking over John’s toned arms and broad shoulders. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, John. I look forward to getting to know you better. Oh, speaking of, Laf, are you free tonight? I thought we could hang out at my place. John, you’re more than welcome to come too, of course.”</p><p>“Bien sûr!” Lafayette says helpfully, clapping John on the back. “We shall be there. Right, John?”</p><p>John smiles apologetically and shakes his head, “I’d love to, but I can’t. Sorry. Next time, though.”</p><p>“Ooh, hot date?” Alex raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“Ha, no. I wish.” John says, leaving it at that. </p><p>Sensing his friend’s discomfort, Lafayette pushes a double espresso in Alex’s direction, smoothly taking the focus off John. “Try this. It’s a new recipe.”</p><p>Taking a sip, Alex looks at him blankly. “This is just coffee, Laf.”</p><p>“Ah, but it is good coffee, non?”</p><p>“Well, yeah, but you can’t say it’s a new recipe! It’s just a double espresso- actually, wait. Did you put, like, salt in this?”</p><p>“Aha! You see, it is a new recipe.” Lafayette folds his arms triumphantly.</p><p>“That’s not how it fuckin- This is why you usually work in the kitchen.” Alex grumbles, drinking it anyway.</p><p>“Yo, Alex, do you know if we have any, uh, ‘cotton candy’ grapes? And if not, where can we get some?” Herc asks, poking his head through the doorway and holding up his phone, open to some obscure recipe site.</p><p>“Duty calls, gentlemen. See you around, John.” swigging back the rest of his coffee, Alex shoots John a quick smile before walking over to Hercules. Wow, Alex thinks. That was… odd. The way John makes him feel isn’t something Alex feels very often, and he pushes the thought away.</p><p>The rest of Alex’s shift passes uneventfully. Occasional quick glances at John every so often show him that not only is John as attractive as he had been earlier, but that John is also looking in his direction more often than not. At some point Alex looks over, only to find John already looking at him, and he winks at the new kid, watching the blush rise to his freckled cheeks. John turns away quickly but not quickly enough to hide how red he is. Smirking to himself, Alex revels in the knowledge that he still has at least some game, wilfully ignoring the funny feeling the sight of John’s furious blush had left in his chest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Introduce Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Alex wakes up feeling almost apprehensive at the thought of work. He had been working in the kitchen yesterday, but today he’s back at the counter, his usual spot in Liberty Coffee. A spot now also being occupied by a certain John Laurens. Alex frowns at the funny feeling in his chest, the same one from the day before. Getting ready for the day ahead, he dutifully ignores the fact that he’s putting more effort into his appearance than he usually does. This also means, however, that the time he spends getting ready is also time he spends ignoring the clock in his tiny apartment’s kitchen. Only when he decides that his hair is just going to have to do does he look at the time, and Alex realises with a start that he’s going to be late.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>John sits at the counter, his sketchbook in front of him, a smile on his face and ready to face the world. Or, face the day’s customers, at the very least. Lafayette walks in through the main doors, fanning himself dramatically. </p><p>“John, mon ami, it is so warm outside. It kills me.” he collapses in a heap in a chair near the door. After a brief glance to the heavens, he looks over to the counter. John stands alone, smiling sympathetically. “But where is Hamilton? He should have been here ten minutes ago!”</p><p>“I’m not sure, he hasn’t got here yet, I guess? I figured he knows what he’s doing..” he trails off, feeling a little defensive. How is he supposed to know if Alex is late, or if there’s some sort of agreement as to what time he usually shows up? A hot flash of anxiety burns in his stomach, reminding him of why he hates being the new kid on the block.</p><p>Just then, the door bursts open and Alex flies in. “Sorry I’m late! I didn’t look at the time and then it was already half past and I didn’t even have my shoes on and then I missed the bus, by the way, did you know that the number 7 line takes a different route now? I didn’t because I usually take the 15 but I took the 7 a couple times so I thought I knew the route but I guess they changed it. Don’t they need to notify passengers if they change it? My point being, I’m sorry I’m late but is it really my fault?” </p><p>John blinks at him in surprise. Did he breathe at all whilst saying that?</p><p>“Yes, it is your fault.” Lafayette announces. “Honestly, mon petit lion, it is John’s second day! You almost left him to the dogs.”</p><p>“To the wolves, Laf, and don’t say that, you’ll scare him!” Alex throws a grin at John, adding, “It’s really not that bad. We missed the morning rush yesterday, so be warned, but calling the customers wolves is harsh. They’re more like… foxes.” he decides thoughtfully.</p><p>“I think I’ll be able to handle it,” John smiles, subtly dropping the sketchbook in his bag and pushing it under the counter and out of sight. “Got fired for fighting at my last place, remember? If a customer gets rowdy I know what to do.” winking, he holds up his fists.</p><p>Alex lets out a loud laugh and hits Lafayette lightly on the arm. “Oh, I like this one, Laf.” he says, and the blush rising to John’s face doesn’t go unnoticed. </p><p>With little time to spare, Alex puts on his apron and joins John behind the counter. Nudging him with his shoulder, he nods towards the door. “You ready?”</p><p>“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.” John insists, ignoring the nerves flickering in his stomach.</p><p>Feigning hurt, Alex holds a hand to his chest and takes a step back. “You wound me, John. Here I am, trying to emotionally prepare you for the chaos of the morning coffee rush, and you brush off my warning?” </p><p>John cocks his head and takes on a pleading look, eyes wide. “I’m incredibly sorry, Alexander. Will you ever be able to forgive me?”</p><p>“Damn, yeah, okay. I forgive you. With those eyes, how can I not?” Looking genuinely touched  by John’s apology, Alex walks over to the door and flips the sign from ‘CLOSED’ to ‘OPEN’. “It’s go time, boys.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The morning rush goes by fairly quickly, John and Alex working together like a well-oiled machine. Lafayette stays in the kitchen, baking away, only poking his head through the doorway to give the boys knowing glances, each behind the others back. </p><p>As the shop grows quieter, with only the occasional customer every so often, Alex leans back against the counter. Folding his arms, he watches as John methodically cleans up. </p><p>“Hey, John. Give me your phone.” he says, holding out a hand expectantly. </p><p>“Uh, okay.” John pulls his phone from his back pocket and unlocks it before handing it to Alex.</p><p>“Thanks,” Alex flashes him a grin and John feels his stomach do a somersault. He watches as Alex types something in, and hands it back. “Ok, there ya go. Now I can tell you if I’m gonna be late.” </p><p>Taking his phone, John looks down at the screen to see that not only has Alex added himself to John’s contacts, but he’s called himself ‘<em>2nd hottest liberty boy ;)</em>’. Snorting, he nods. “Thanks. Who’s the hottest liberty boy?”</p><p>“Well,” Alex drawls, his eyes running up and down John’s tall frame, lingering on his muscled arms before looking directly into his eyes. “I think that’d have to be you, John.”</p><p>John’s eyes widen and he feels his cheeks get hot as he stammers out, “Hah, I, uh-”.</p><p>“‘Ow dare you? Clearly I am the hottest.” Lafayette calls from the kitchen, his disembodied voice echoing through the mostly empty shop. </p><p>“We’ve been over this, Laf! You’re the prettiest!” Alex yells back, and then adds under his breath, “Although John might be taking your title there, too.” </p><p>Just as John is trying to formulate an adequate response to Alex’s…<em> flirting? No, that can’t be right, there’s no way Alex is flirting with him</em>, the bell above the coffee shop’s door chimes. Three young women walk in, all stunning. John recognises them from Laf’s instagram (where else?) but doesn’t remember their names, just that they’re sisters.</p><p>“Alex! Where’s Lafayette, I need to talk to him.” One of them slams a hand down on the counter, her face twisting into a glare. Her dark brown curls shake as she looks around the shop impatiently.</p><p>“Why hello to you too, my dear Angelica, what can I do for you today?” Alex shoots back, only for his confidence to falter under the sheer ferocity of her gaze. “Uh, Laf’s in the-”</p><p>“Lafayette is not ‘ere today!” An unmistakable french voice calls from the kitchen.</p><p>“Right.” Angelica storms around the counter into the kitchen. John gives Alex a quizzical look and the two hear the sound of Lafayette being hit with a bag, followed by furious whispers, and Alex just shrugs at him, as lost as he is.</p><p>“Sorry about Ang. She’s pissed that Lafayette told Herc about Peggy’s crush on him.” One of the two sisters that’s left explains, only to be hit in the arm by the other sister.</p><p>“Oh my god, Eliza, I don’t have a crush on Hercules! We’re friends, okay! Jesus.” Peggy, John assumes, folds her arms and pouts.</p><p>“To be fair, if Laf knows something, it’s only a matter of time before the entire city knows.” Alex interjects, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. </p><p>Peggy stomps a foot angrily. “Why is no one listening to me?”</p><p>John watches the conversation unfold with interest. Seeing Alex in his element, how he interacts with his close friends fascinates John for reasons he can’t explain. As he observes what’s going on in front of him, Alex glances over to him and they make eye contact for a brief second, Alex’s mouth quirking up into a half smile.</p><p>This doesn’t go unnoticed by Eliza, whose eyes flicker from one man to the other for a couple seconds, before saying, “Alex, when are you going to introduce us to the new guy?” and deciding to take matters into her own hands. She smiles at him warmly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m Eliza. This is Peggy, and the one who just accosted Lafayette is Angelica. It’s nice to meet you…?” </p><p>“Oh, uh, John.” He says quickly, and smiles back. “Nice to meet y’all too.”</p><p>“‘Y’all’, John? Wait, whereabouts are you come from? Not many people saying ‘y’all’ around here.” Alex looks at him with interest.</p><p>“South Carolina. Near Charleston,” John winces, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve been in New York for a couple years now, though. But yeah, I’m from South Carolina, I guess?”</p><p>Alex nods thoughtfully and turns away, but not before John catches a glimpse of what looks like worry on his face.</p><p>“So what are you doing in the city?” Eliza asks. “It must have been a big difference, coming here.”</p><p>“Oh, it wasn’t too bad. I came for school originally, but I decided I want to stay here. Have you always lived here?” He asks, grateful for Eliza’s efforts to talk to him.</p><p>“Yep! Born and raised- Well, I was born in China, but I was adopted by the Schuylers when I was a baby, and I’ve lived here ever since.” That explains the difference in appearance between the three sisters, then. “I go to college here, too. That’s how I met Alex, actually!”</p><p>At the mention of his name, Alex looks up, trying to look like he hasn’t been eavesdropping the whole time. “Huh? Oh, yeah! We met at that gala the college threw. Oh man,” He grins, turning to look at John. “That was a fantastic party. Lafayette got so drunk he fell into the chocolate fountain.”</p><p>“Alas, it is true.” Laf sighs, walking out of the kitchen with Angelica (who was still glaring at him, but a lot less angrily) in tow. “John, mon ami, be glad you were not there. My suit was ruined!”</p><p>Angelica rolls her eyes and prods the frenchman in the back. “Tell her!”</p><p>“Ah, oui! Apologies. Peggy, I am very sorry for telling ‘Ercules about your, how do you say, crush.” Lafayette, adopting a sorrowful expression, tells Peggy.</p><p>The youngest Schuyler sister rolls her eyes and sighs with exasperation. “For the last time, I do not have a crush on Hercules! He’s way too old for me, anyway.” </p><p>Angelica gives her a suspicious look, folding her arms. </p><p>“Ugh, I’ll explain when it’s closer to- whatever. Look, I was just asking about him for a thing, okay?” Peggy, annoyed at being put on the spot, checks her phone. “Don’t we have to go?”</p><p>“Shit, we’re gonna be late. Alex, can I get an iced coffee?” Eliza interjects.  “You know how I like it.” </p><p>“Anything for my favourite Schuyler,” Alex says, winking at her, and John feels a hot flash of <em>something</em> deep in his stomach. </p><p>The other two look unimpressed but ask Alex for the ‘usual’, whatever that is, and John watches as Alex effortlessly makes drinks with an almost practised elegance. </p><p>The girls leave and the shop is quiet once again, save for the spotify playlist of the day playing in the background. Alex turns to look at John and nonchalantly asks, “So, South Carolina, huh?”</p><p>“Yeah, but like I said, I don’t really associate myself with… there, anymore.” John says, stopping himself from saying what he was going to say. <em>I don’t associate with my dad, anymore</em>, was the truth of it.</p><p>Alex surveys John, watching as his expression changes to something akin to nausea. “Oh yeah? Why not?” He presses, feeling bad but feeling worse at the thought that John might align with some of the more southern ideals. </p><p>Essentially, he was scared that John might be straight. Or worse, homophobic. Alex forgot, sometimes, that not everyone is LGBT in some way. Pretty much everyone in his friend group is, and he’d had the feeling that John was too, but… “Wait, shit, what’s your surname?” </p><p>John grimaces. “Laurens.”</p><p>“Your dad isn’t Henry Laurens, right?” Alex says, blurting it out before he has a chance to filter his thoughts. </p><p>“Yeah, that’d be him. Also, the reason I don’t associate myself with there.” John shrugs, trying to hide his discomfort at the topic.</p><p>“So you’re not in the habit of associating with homophobic, racist, sexist politicians? Good to know.” Alex smiles at him, but it’s still guarded. Oh god, he flirted with the son of one of the most homophobic Republican senators there is. Sure, there seems to be some animosity between John and his dad, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t share some of the same ideals.</p><p>John scoffs. “Ha. I try not to. That choice was pretty much made for me as soon as he found out his perfect son was actually a gay kid more into art than politics, though, so...”</p><p>Alex lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. “Oof, yeah, that’ll do it. Hey, what do you study? You said to Eliza you were here for school. I’ll take a guess and say not politics.” He asks, trying to simultaneously change the topic and find out more about John at the same time.</p><p>“I’m a law student,” John tells him, voice flat, but then adds hopefully, “I'm thinking of switching, though.”</p><p>“Wow, reign back the excitement. I take it law wasn’t your first choice?” Smiling at John, Alex attempts to coax more information out of him.</p><p>“Yeah, no. My dad’s. I want to go into art. What do you study?” John responds, smoothly changing the subject of the interrogation.</p><p>Alex almost seems to bounce up and down as he excitedly tells John about being a PoliSci student and the internships he has lined up. John listens in amusement as he rambles on about one of his classes.</p><p>“So, the professor was just an incredible person to work with, the amount of experience she had meant that she had an extraordinarily broad spectrum of, well, experiences to work with and for us to learn from. It was a really interesting semester, she brought in some guest speakers who- wait. How long have I been talking?” Alex stops as he realises John is filling customer orders whilst looking over to him and nodding or making the right conversational noise every so often. “John! There’s like, five people waiting! Why didn’t you tell me to shut up and help you?”</p><p>Alex quickly joins him in preparing drinks and taking orders, and John grins at him. “Well, you were on a roll. I didn’t want to interrupt. Plus, you’re cute when you’re talking about something you’re passionate about.” </p><p>John looks over as he says that last part, just in time to see Alex furiously try to hide his smile. “Good thing I talk a lot, then.”</p><p>“It sure is.” </p><p>They work in silence for a few minutes, each waiting for the shop to empty a little so they can continue their conversation, but more and more customers keep coming. Alex, frustrated, tries to reason with himself. <em>Customers are good</em>, he sternly tells himself,<em> it means we get paid which means John keeps working here and I can see him more. Ugh, You’ve only known him for, like, a day, Alex. Chill.</em> </p><p>Alex looks up as he hands the last customer her drink, and he realises with a start that it’s already noon. “Oh shit, I gotta go. I have class. Is Herc here yet?” He glances over to John, who was sketching in a small black book, perching precariously on a stool.</p><p>“I don’t think so - I mean, I didn’t see him come through the front?” John looks up at him, smoothly closing the sketchbook and putting it out of sight. </p><p>Hm. That's a question for another day, Alex decides. He really, really has to get going, but he’s reluctant to leave John alone on his second day. Sure, the shop is pretty quiet right now, but it can always get busy, and a herd of impatient businessmen is never a fun thing to deal with, especially alone. “Ugh, okay. I have class, but…” </p><p>John watches in silent amusement as Alex hops from one foot to the other, as if he’s physically torn between staying or going. “Alexander, I got it. You can go. I’m sure Herc will be here any minute. And if he isn’t, I think I’ll be able to handle it. I’ve dealt with Henry Laurens, remember? Snobby New Yorkers waiting for their coffee ain’t got nothing on him.”</p><p>“Are you sure? I can stay,” Alex bites his lip, anxious for John. “I mean, it’s like, one of my least favourite classes, and there’s this guy I always get into debates with, actually, the others in that class probably wouldn’t mind if I didn’t go, it’d give them a chance to learn in peace for once.”</p><p>The door swings open and Hercules Mulligan strides in, an old lady clutching his arm. “Alex! What are you still doing here, don’t you have class? Go, I got it. I met Mrs Diaz on the way, she’s part of my knitting group, she wanted to see where I work!” The tiny woman beams, patting him on the arm proudly.</p><p>Alex sighs and turns back to John. “Okay, well, have a good rest of your shift, I guess. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” </p><p>With that, Alex leaves. Making his way to the subway, his thoughts are full of John. He can’t explain the pull he feels towards the new guy. It’s unlike anything he had ever felt before, he realises with a jolt. Sure, when he’d first met Eliza he’d been drawn to her, but that fizzled out pretty quickly, especially after she told him she was gay as hell. But the pull he feels to John, god, it’s almost exhilarating. He’s only known him for, what, 26 hours? And yet he can’t stop thinking about him, about the way he grinned at Alex, how he blushed when Alex called him hot, how focused and at peace he had looked drawing in his sketchbook. And how he called Alex ‘Alexander’. No one does that, but John had.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>come talk to me about hamilton on tumblr @cherrydykes!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. You're Cute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> john oh my god i’m going to kill jefferson<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> seriously you have to help me hide the body</p><p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> what did he do this time??</p><p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> holy shit ok so like<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> he tried to fufkcing say that i cant argue on ‘matters of the nation’ bc i didn’t grow up ‘here’<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> what the fuck does matters of the nation even mean<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> but not even that it was the fuckin way he said it was<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> ugh<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> like?? my background doenst determine shit about me AND i can debate better than half the bitches that grew up ‘here’ in our course<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> scratch that i can debate better than all of them</p><p> </p><p>Alex slams open the door to Liberty Coffee, phone clutched in his hand. “John, I am going to kill Jefferson.”</p><p>Looking up from his phone, where he had just finished reading Alex’s aggravated messages, John nods solemnly. “I’m with you, man. The guy sounds like an asshole. I’ll help you kill him.”</p><p>“No talk of murder at work, please.” Washington walks out of the kitchen into the coffee shop, raising an eyebrow at the two men. “I have to leave now, I’ll be back in a week. Boys, can I trust you to not destroy my store whilst I’m out of state?”</p><p>Herc and Laf stick their heads through the doorway to the kitchen.</p><p>“Bien sûr!”</p><p>“Of course, sir.”</p><p>“Yessir.” John nods, making eye contact with Alex, who mimes hanging himself and mouths ‘Jefferson’ behind Washington’s back. </p><p>Turning swiftly to look at him, Washington raises an eyebrow at Alex. “Hamilton, no dead bodies on my property when I return, please. Oh, and I need you to take a look at some numbers, I’ll send you the documents. See you in a week, boys.”</p><p>As Washington leaves the shop, John reflects on the past few days. He can barely believe that he’s only been working at Liberty Coffee for a week, that he’s only known Alex for a week. </p><p>The two had started texting the day that Alex had given him his number and had been texting nonstop. At first it had been under the guise of discussing schedules, but it had quickly gotten off topic and they had spent longer than they’d care to admit fighting over the best movie genre (John said action-comedy, Alex, unsurprisingly, had said indie but had followed it up with a long discussion about discrimination in indie filmmaking and the prioritisation of white, cishet, able-bodied films). </p><p>They had fast fallen into a routine of sorts at work - Alex takes orders and John makes drinks. It turns out John has a real knack for being a barista, to his surprise. Alex, who had been a bartender at a previous job, was only slightly irked at being shown up, but this was quickly put aside as he realised how good John looks making drinks. Okay, so maybe John just looks good all the time. </p><p>Alex steadily continues flirting with him, fueled by John’s flustered reactions. Occasionally the tables turn, and John hits Alex with such a smooth one-liner that Alex feels starstruck. He was quite literally rendered speechless the first few times, much to Lafayette and Herc’s amusement, who watched all this unfold from the kitchen. </p><p>As he internally debates whether or not to ask John if he wants to hang out outside of work (<em>not a date!</em> he reminded himself) that night for his, Herc’s and Laf’s supposed-to-be-weekly-but-isn’t-really movie night, Alex’s thoughts are interrupted by an all too familiar southern drawl.</p><p>“Why, Hamilton, I didn’t know you worked here! What a <em>lovely</em> surprise.” Thomas Jefferson stands in the open doorway of the coffeeshop. He’s wearing an obnoxiously purple shirt, and John has to stop himself from shielding his eyes.</p><p>Folding his arms and staring at Jefferson, Alex rolls his eyes, “Yes, you do, asshole. What do you want?”. It was phrased more as a statement than a question, but that doesn’t deter the purple vision, John notes in mild amusement.</p><p>“Oh, come now, Hamilton, is that any way to talk to your customers?” </p><p>John, ever the diplomat, puts a hand on Alex’s arm as he pushes his way to the front of the counter. “Good day, sir, what can I get you today?”</p><p>“And who exactly might you be?” Jefferson’s eyes trail up and down what he can see of John, coming to rest on his face. “Hamilton didn’t tell me he had such attractive coworkers. If he had, I might have come by sooner.”</p><p>John hides his grimace and holds onto his customer service voice. “I’m John Laurens. I take it you’re Jefferson?”</p><p>“A smart one, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Jefferson, back the fuck off.” Alex interjects, pushing John out of the way. “Leave John out of this. You’re only making yourself look worse.”</p><p>“Someone’s protective,” Jefferson sneers. “But fine. It really is a shame, though. John, dear, find me if you ever lose your guard dog.”. With a wink at John and a smirk in Alex’s direction, Jefferson leaves the coffee shop.</p><p>“Did he really just come in here to try and start shit and then leave without even buying anything? What an ass.” John muses, ignoring the ego boost he’d gotten.</p><p>“Trust me, that’s nothing in comparison to some of the shit he’s pulled.” Alex grumbles, angrily wiping the counter as if to erase any marks Jefferson’s presence might have left. “Hey, I’m really sorry about that. Dragging you into it wasn’t okay. And… I’m sorry if I was, yknow, being, uh. A guard dog. Or whatever.”</p><p>“What? No, you don’t have to apologise. It was, well, nice,” John smiles at Alex, blushing faintly. “It’s nice to have someone looking out for you. Especially if it’s someone you care about.”</p><p>Alex grins back, relieved. Bolstered by John’s words, he takes a breath. “So, uh, are you free tonight? Herc and Laf and I do a monthly movie night, it’s at my place this time, and I was thinking it’d be the perfect chance to fully indoctrinate you to our cult.” he jokes, trying not to show how much he wants John to say yes.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m free tonight! I’m always up for a good indoctrination. Anything I should bring? Vials of blood? A stake? Wait, no. That’s vampires, not cults. Either way, I’d love to come.” John beams at Alex, who feels his stomach do approximately three somersaults in a row. </p><p>“Awesome!” Alex breathes out, feeling almost giddy. “You can bring something to drink, if you want? We usually just have some beer or something. Laf usually brings wine, because, y’know. He’s french. Plus, wine is good for rituals.”</p><p>The corners of John’s eyes crinkle as he lets out a laugh. “I can do that. Anything else?”</p><p>“Just yourself,” <em>Your hot self</em>, Alex thinks. “Be warned, the rituals of eating popcorn and drinking just a little too much require a lot of practice. Don’t stress if you don’t get it right the first time.” he jokingly adds.</p><p>Making direct eye contact with Alex, John smirks as he says, “Don’t worry, I’m a very… hands-on learner.” </p><p>Alex’s mouth opens a little in surprise. Is John <em>flirting</em> with him? Like, actually flirting? “John Laurens, are you flirting with me?” tumbles out of his mouth before he has a chance to stop it.</p><p>John says nothing, just winks at Alex and takes the next customer’s order.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>liberty boys groupchat:</em>
</p><p><em>hammie:</em>  my place at 8? </p><p><em>hunkules:</em> im in</p><p><em>french fry:</em> je suis aussi partant!! </p><p><em>jj:</em> i’ll be there :)</p><p><em>hammie:</em> ok see you guys then<br/>
<em>hammie:</em> provided this fuckign essay doesnt kill me first</p><p>Alexander Hamilton sighs and tucks an errant strand of hair behind his ear. It’s already 7pm, he’s been sitting in the library for 3 hours now and by this point he’s just rereading the same line of his essay over and over. He needs to be getting home anyway, his apartment is a mess and he still wants to shower and clean up before his friends get there. </p><p>He had also looked at the documents and files Washington sent him, but honestly? They’re incredibly confusing. Alex knows he’s smart, he’s good with numbers, he’s good at things like accounting, but something is seriously throwing off the numbers for Liberty Coffee’s accounts. There’s something odd going on, but he doesn’t have time to look into it now and still get home in time.</p><p>As he packs up his laptop and notebook, he begins thinking about the evening ahead. John is going to be in his apartment! He feels a giddy smile rise on his face before shaking his head and sternly telling himself to calm down. <em>You’ve known the guy for, like, a week, Alex. Chill.</em> Why is he so nervous? God, it’s not like he’s a teenage kid with a high school crush. </p><p>10 minutes of walking later he makes it to his apartment building, only shivering ever so slightly. He unlocks the door and lets himself in, surveying the mess. </p><p>“Okay, it’s 20 past now, so I have 40 minutes to clean this shit up and then clean myself up.” He says aloud to himself </p><p>Starting with the living room, he works his way through the small apartment, humming and singing random songs as he goes. Once he’s finally done cleaning and tidying (<em>note to self: if movie night is coming up, make sure the apartment is clean at least a full day before</em>), he checks the clock. 10 to 8. That’s enough time for a shower, right? He hops in, hissing at the scalding water on his tense shoulders, and quickly washes his hair. His fingers ghost over his dick as he washes his body, and as it begins to perk up he can’t keep the thoughts of John at bay. </p><p><em>No, not now, this is not a good time,</em> he thinks, willing his boner to go away. <em>Think about, fuck, I dunno, think about Jefferson! Think about what a goddamn asshole Jefferson is, that’ll do it.</em> His breathing evens out and his dick softens, and he hits his head lightly against the shower wall. How the fuck is he meant to get through tonight? </p><p>Just then, the doorbell rings. “Fuck!”. Shutting off the water and grabbing a towel, he tries not to fall as he gets out of the shower. “One second!” he yells, wrapping the towel around his hips. </p><p>He makes his way to the door, drying his hair with a second towel. He briefly thinks about the fact that he’s half naked, but ultimately decides to fuck it. They’re his friends, after all. And if it’s John, well, it’ll be a good way to see his reaction. He opens the door with an apologetic smile. “Hi, I’m so sorry, I was showering and lost track of the time, well, I was tidying and then showered, not that I’ve been showering for ages, that’d be weird, anyway, I’m just gonna go get dressed, make yourself at home!” </p><p>John stands in the doorway, a look of bewilderment on his face and a faint blush rising under his freckles. “Uh, yeah, no worries.”. His eyes rake up and down Alex’s upper body, still glistening with water droplets, the towel slung scandalously low on his hips. “Sorry, I might be a little early. Take all the time you need.” his breath catches in his chest and he bites his lip, willing himself not to say or do anything incriminating.</p><p>Alex smiles a funny half smile at him, a little teasing and a little coy, as if he isn’t standing half naked in front of him. “Yeah, I’ll be right back. But, seriously, come in, make yourself at home.”.<br/>
Opening the door wider, he takes a step back. John steps into the small hallway of Hamilton’s apartment and follows him to the living room. Pointing a thumb behind him at a closed door, Alex smiles sheepishly, “I’m gonna, uh, yeah.”</p><p>John laughs lightly and Alex blushes, a faint pink rising on his chest. Taking a seat at the couch and taking his jacket off, he pretends not to notice Alex going into his bedroom and leaving the door open just a crack. “So, how’s the essay coming along?” he calls out, still dutifully ignoring the slightly open door.</p><p>“Oh my god, it’s the worst, John. Honestly, why did I even take that class? It’s not a requirement!”. He can hear Alex rummaging around in a drawer. “Well, actually, there are quite a few interesting aspects. Like the fact that despite having learnt, often directly, from each other, philosophers still tend to have wildly different views on things most people would take for granted or not even think about. Plus the actual application is cool in a lot of cases, it’s pretty refreshing to be able to see the world or think about it in a totally different way to how you were before. But I guess what I like about it is more the study of the subject as a subject, rather than the study of the subject as in the theories throughout history, if that makes sense? Like, I wanna learn about philosophy, but I don’t wanna learn about <em>philosophy</em>.”. With this, he pushes open the door to his bedroom and John looks over at him. Tragically, he was now fully clothed, in a tee and sweatpants. </p><p>“I think you wanted to take the class because you thought it’d be helpful ‘in the long run’.” John supplies, making quotation marks with his fingers, smiling at Alex.</p><p>“Pfft. Yeah, that sounds about right. Helpful my ass.” he grumbles, and takes a seat on the other end of the couch, stretching his legs out and plopping his feet in John’s lap. “What did you get up to this afternoon?”</p><p>“Oh, nothing exciting,” John shrugs, rubbing his neck and trying to ignore how close Alex’s feet were to his dick (not that he has a foot kink, but, fuck, it was Alex. Any part of Alex being close to his dick is hot). “I was at work until close and then I just worked on my portfolio a bit.”</p><p>“Oh shit, yeah, how’s that coming along? Are you still hiding it from us?” Alex sits up, poking John in the side. Over the course of the week he had learnt that John was an incredible artist. He left little doodles everywhere, on napkins, cups, the menu chalkboard. The doodles were cute enough, but when Alex had managed to sneak a glance at his sketchbook, he’d been genuinely amazed at the talent John possessed.</p><p>“It’s going pretty well actually, but yeah, you’re still not allowed to see it. I don’t wanna jinx it by showing anyone.” he smiles apologetically, using the excuse he had thought up for when Hamilton asked about his art portfolio. The truth is, in the past week John had found himself drawing Alex more and more - not on purpose, but when John was just sketching absentmindedly, he often looked down to see that he had, in fact, been drawing Alex. </p><p>There’s absolutely no way John is going to show Alex his drawings. How would he even explain that? <em>‘Hey, I know we’ve only known each other for a week or so, but here’s all my drawings of you!’</em>? Definitely not.</p><p>Trying to think of something to distract from his artwork (or lack thereof), John remembers the six-pack of beer he brought with him. “Oh, I brought beer! I know it’s not typically a ritualistic drink, but…” </p><p>He trails off, shrugging, and Alex beams, taking a beer. “Perfect! We’re all about things that aren’t the norm in this apartment.”</p><p>They both take a drink in comfortable silence. Alex thoughtfully looks over at John, whose eyes are flitting around the apartment with interest, briefly resting on the pride flag hung up on the wall before moving on. “So, Jo-”</p><p>He’s interrupted by the doorbell ringing, followed by a loud knock at the door. “Petit lion! Nous sommes arrivé! Open up!” Lafayette calls out, followed by Hercules’ exasperated voice.</p><p>“Laf, I think he knows we’re here. You don’t need to yell.” </p><p>John stifles a laugh as Alex rolls his eyes and walks over to the door. Opening it, he gives Laf an unimpressed look. “Yes, Laf. I know you’re here.”</p><p>Undeterred by Alex’s rebuttal, the frenchman strides into the apartment, arms wide. “John! Ah, I am so ‘appy you could make it! It is so good to see you, mon ami.”</p><p>“Laf, we saw each other literally 6 hours ago.” John, shaking his head, stands and gives Laf a quick hug anyway.</p><p>“Yes, but at work! This is a completely different setting.”</p><p>Hercules watches Laf enthusiastically chatter away and raises an eyebrow at Alex. “What d’you wanna bet he facetimed with Adrienne earlier?”</p><p>“Ha, he absolutely did. He’s only this happy to see us when he’s also seen her face in the past 24 hours.” Alex snorts. Laughing, Hercules pushes away the realisation that, actually, he and Lafayette had also facetimed earlier.</p><p>The four boys settle into their places in Alex’s slightly cramped living room. Alex and John are on the couch, Hercules is sitting in an armchair, and Lafayette lays sprawled out over a pile of cushions on the floor, his head resting against Herc’s leg. They choose a movie, some action flick (had Alex picked it because he knows John likes action movies? Maybe.). Honestly, John is far too focused on Alex’s close proximity to him to pay attention to anything else. </p><p>Looking at his new friends, John smiles. He’s not really used to things like this, a close knit friend group. He’d been popular in high school, sure, but it was all superficial. No one actually cared about him, it was about being seen with him, and John knew it. </p><p>This? This is… nice. </p><p>After the first movie ends, everyone is well into their second or third drink. John, who isn’t the greatest at holding his own when it comes to drinking, muses to himself that maybe he should stop after this beer, noting that everything is just a little brighter and louder than it had been when he’d arrived. He isn’t drunk, but he’s definitely slightly buzzed. </p><p>As are his friends. Lafayette’s a little too smiley, his hands drawing out patterns on Herc’s legs, Herc looks almost sleepy but mostly still awake, and Alex? Well, at some point over the past couple hours, Alex had moved so he’s leaning against John, head resting against John’s shoulder. </p><p>John is acutely aware of Alex’s presence. It’s as though every inch of his skin where Alex is touching him is a live nerve ending, and he has to keep himself from shivering at Alex’s touch when he begins absentmindedly tracing patterns on John’s leg whilst watching the movie. </p><p>Alex, of course, keeps up a running commentary throughout the whole thing. Sure, it’s slowly becoming less cohesive as he has more to drink, but what’s he supposed to do? Not comment on the absurdity of the plot and the lack of realism? Please. </p><p>By the time the second movie ends, everyone is decidedly drunk. Hercules less so than the others, and he laughs at Alex (who had knocked a half-full beer bottle over as he wildly gesticulated in order to prove his point about the logistics of the film) who just pouts and folds his arms. </p><p>“To be fair, Alexander,” John says, trying harder than normal to get his words to come out right. “You’re small. There’s not really anywhere for the alcohol to go.”</p><p>Alex sits up, outraged, and John tries not to whine at the sudden loss of contact. </p><p>“How dare you! You’re not that much taller than me,” Alex insists, a look of hurt on his face. “I’m not that small.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I have muscles.”</p><p>“Damn right you do.” Alex murmurs softly, distracted by the thought of John’s muscles.</p><p>“Whereas you’re kinda scrawny,” John says, not really registering the words before they come out of his mouth. He only realises it when he sees the genuine look of dismay on Alex’s face. “No, it’s not a bad thing! It’s cute. You’re cute.” </p><p>A loud slap echoes through the room and John blearily looks over to Lafayette and Hercules. The former is still lying on the floor, but one of his hands flails around near the latter, who sits rubbing his leg with a pained grimace. </p><p>“Ha! I told you, ‘Ercules! You owe me $20.” Laf says smugly. </p><p>John honestly can’t be bothered with whatever’s going on there, and turns back to look at Alex, who’s now smiling gleefully. </p><p>“Did you just call me cute?” he asks, prodding John in the cheek.</p><p>“Hey, quit it,” John mumbles, brushing his finger away. “Yeah, you’re cute. I already said that.”. He slowly realises that Alex is smiling hard and blushing, and then he realises what he’d said. “I mean, uh-”</p><p>“It’s okay, J,” Alex says nonchalantly, waving off John’s attempt at an excuse and falling back so his head is in John’s lap, smiling up at him. “You’re cute too.”</p><p>“J?” John smiles, too tipsy at this point to think beyond the fact that Alex just called him cute. Nevermind the fact that so far, he had called him hot a total of nine times over the past week - not that John’s keeping count. </p><p>“John is too long,” Alex reaches up and drowsily tugs on a lock of John’s hair. “Hey, J? I’m glad you decided to come work at Liberty.”</p><p>The floor creaks as Hercules stands up, and the bubble around Alex and John pops. </p><p>“I gotta get going, guys. Laf, you coming?”. An unspoken agreement between the two hangs in the air, and Lafayette smiles softly at Hercules.</p><p>“Oui,” Lafayette mumbles, looking back to the two boys on the couch. “D’accord. I am ready. Let us go.”. Standing up with surprising grace, he winks at them. “Do not have too much fun, mon amis.”</p><p>John lifts a hand and says his goodbyes still sitting, reluctant to get up, especially as Alex’s head is still in his lap. Alex is mumbling about something about politics and action movies under his breath and waves vaguely in the direction of the two leaving. Hercules snorts and Lafayette doesn’t seem to notice, and the door swings smoothly shut behind them as they leave.</p><p>It’s suddenly very quiet in the apartment, and John looks back down at Alex, who had stopped his rambling. </p><p>“I should… I should go, too,” John murmurs, making no real effort to get up. “We have to be at work at 7.45am tomorrow- fuck, today.”</p><p>“Damn. My condolences.” </p><p>“You have to work as well, Alexander!” John reminds him, laughing lightly.</p><p>“Oh,” Alex looks crestfallen, but his face quickly breaks into a smile. “Wait, you’ll be there tomorrow, right?”</p><p>“Well, yeah,” Nodding, John notes that Alex is drunker than he’d realised. “We have a shift together, dumbass.”</p><p>“That’s good. Oh, we’re gonna be hungover. Shit.” </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>One hand still playing with John’s hair, Alex smiles. “I really am glad you came to work with us.”</p><p>“Me too,” John says softly, an odd feeling coming over him. He reluctantly moves out from underneath Alex, who sits up to look at him. </p><p>“You can stay here, tonight, if you want,” Alex says, his voice drowsy with just a hint of nervousness. “I mean, just if you don’t want to walk home at night. Wait, how did you get here?”</p><p>John, looking up from gathering his stuff, smiles. “That’s okay. I have to do some things before work and I wouldn’t want to wake you earlier than necessary. Thank you, though,” He touches Alex’s shoulder lightly. “I’ll see you in a few hours. Don’t be late this time.”</p><p>Alex snorts. “Me? Late? Never.”</p><p>“Bye, Alexander. Try to get some sleep.”</p><p>“Bye, J.”</p><p>Alex watches the door close softly behind John and groans. How the hell had he managed to fall so far for this guy he’d only met a week ago? And more importantly, how the hell is he supposed to keep being <em>just</em> friends with John when all he can think about is what it’d feel like to be kissed by him, to feel his hands on Alex’s body, to have him in Alex’s bed?</p><p>He’s screwed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>talk to me over on tumblr @cherrydykes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Prize</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is the longest chapter yet! and also my favourite of the ones posted :)<br/>tw for (very brief) homophobia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex wakes with a start. He’s not sure what woke him, but it sure wasn’t his alarm. Glancing at the clock and seeing that he still has a good hour until his alarm is due to go off, he groans and rolls over, trying to catch just a few more minutes of sleep. </p><p>A loud banging from the hallway outside his apartment startles him awake again and he realises that’s what woke him in the first place. The banging stops briefly but quickly resumes, and as Alex’s brain catches up to what’s happening, he realises shouting is coming from the hallway as well. </p><p>“Sir? Sir!” a gruff voice calls out, and as Alex’s ears catch up with his brain (thanks, ADHD),he realises that the banging is someone pounding on his door. “Sir! If this door isn’t open in the next minute, we’ll have to force it open!”</p><p>Now <em>that</em> wakes Alex up properly. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants, he calls out, “Hold on, I’m coming!”</p><p>Opening the door, he- <em>what the fuck?</em> There are cracks in his walls, huge cracks from floor to ceiling, the paint chipping off around them. Staring at them in shock for a second, jaw slack, another pound on the door reminds him of what’s going on and he hurries over, opening it with confusion.</p><p>“Are you the current occupant of this apartment?” a tall, bearded man in a fireman’s uniform asks him. </p><p>“Uh, yeah, I’m Alexander. Hamilton. I live here. What’s going on?”</p><p>“Mr. Hamilton, there’s been a water pipe malfunction. The building is being evacuated. We have to ask you to leave, for your own safety.” </p><p>“Yeah, you’re telling me.” Alex mutters before clearing his throat. “Can I grab my stuff before I go?”</p><p>“Yes, but make it quick.”</p><p>Alex nods and turns, brain racing. Okay, what can he easily transport? Fuck, where’s he gonna go? He’ll have to work that out later. What’s most valuable? His laptop, obviously. Phone charger. College textbooks. Shit, all his notes! </p><p>Running around the apartment at lightning speed, he shoves papers and books into a small suitcase. This suitcase had carried all his worldly possessions when he had first come to New York from Nevis, and it looks like it was about to carry all his worldly possessions once again.</p><p>After 10 minutes, someone knocks on his door again and Alex opens it to see the same fireman as before. “Son, I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.”</p><p><em>Don’t call me son,</em> Alex thinks automatically, before nodding. He grabs his suitcase and backpack, giving the apartment a last glance. </p><p>“It should be okay. A lot of repairs, but it’ll still be standing.” the fireman tells him, noticing his reluctance to leave.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Alex nods again and makes his way out of the building. Standing on the sidewalk, he muses over what to do now. <em>Go to work, I guess, your shift starts in a couple hours anyway. You can be early for once. Like, super early.</em> And so, suitcase in tow, he makes his way to Liberty Coffee.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The streets of the city seem more sluggish than usual this morning. Bakeries have their doors open, letting the hot air circulate, and with it the scent of freshly baked bread. The heat seems to glisten on the road. Cars are hazy, colours blending into one another, drivers impatient but too warm to care. It’s shaping up to be one of the hottest days of the year so far.</p><p>John Laurens lets out a yawn as he walks, only half awake. It’s only 7.30am and he wonders for a brief moment why exactly he decided to take a job where he’d have to be up and about at this time of the day. He turns a corner and Liberty Coffee comes into view, and through one of the big storefront windows he spots Alex, who’s sat behind the counter, laptop in front of him, typing away. <em>Ah,</em> John smiles. <em> That’s why. </em></p><p>After a month of working with Alex on a nearly daily basis, John had grown rather fond of him. Okay, who’s he kidding, he has a giant freaking crush on the guy. </p><p>Letting himself in and then swiftly locking the door behind him (coffee vultures were always looking for an opening), John gives Alex a smile as he looks up at the sound of the door.</p><p>“Sorry, we’re not op- Oh! John! Is it that time already?” Alex looks genuinely surprised to see him, and John looks at him quizzically.</p><p>“What do you mean, that time? It’s the start of our shift, Alexander. How long have you been here?” </p><p>Alex grimaces, looking at the clock on the wall of the coffee shop. “Um, an hour or so? Well, an hour and 26 minutes to be exact. I was… working. On my essay.” he gestures towards the laptop. </p><p>John raises an eyebrow at him, disbelief evident on his face. “I feel like you’re leaving out a part of the story.”</p><p>“Ugh, fine. So, I might be technically homeless right now. It’s just a minor issue though, you don’t need to worry about it. My apartment building is falling apart just a little.”</p><p>“Holy shit!” John drops his bag and walks over to stand closer to Alex. “What the hell happened? Wait, the same apartment building we’ve had like, three movie nights in?”</p><p>“Ha, yeah, the one and only. Something about the water pipes. I was too tired and confused to really listen.” </p><p>“So, what are you going to do? Where are you living?” John pushes gently.</p><p>Alex shrugs, nodding his head towards the kitchen silently. After a quick glance, John sees a battered suitcase standing in the corner, half hidden under a coat haphazardly thrown over it.</p><p>“Ok, that settles it.” John decides aloud, and Alex, who had been trying to subtly watch his reaction to the situation, looks up to see John looking at him with determination in his eyes. “You’ll stay at my place until your apartment is safe again.”</p><p>“J, no, you don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine. I always am.” Alex tells him and feels his resolve melt away when John gives him a smile, a twinkle in his eye.</p><p>“I want to. It’ll be nice to have someone else in the apartment with me. Plus,” he moves past Alex swiftly, grabbing his apron off the hook behind the counter, and Alex shivers when he feels John’s breath close to his ear. “It’ll give us a chance to… get to know each other better.”</p><p>Alex’s mouth opens in a silent ‘oh’. When Hercules and Lafayette walk in moments later, he’s still standing there, processing what John had said.</p><p>“Hey, what’s up?” Herc greets them, Lafayette bounding over to give the two boys kisses on each cheek.</p><p>“Uh, hey, guys.” Alex says, somewhat breathlessly.</p><p>Lafayette looks slowly between the two, his confused expression quickly being replaced by one of amusement. Alex, who is pointedly ignoring John’s knowing smirk, glares at Laf.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The door to Liberty Coffee swings open in a flurry of glitter and curls - quite literally. Peggy Schuyler emerges from the cloud, coughing lightly and waving her hand in front of her face.</p><p>“Ahem,” she brushes off her jacket, standing up a little straighter. “Hello, patrons of this fine coffee shop!”</p><p>She looks around the coffee shop and owlishly back at Alex and John, who are standing behind the counter with matching bemused expressions on their faces.</p><p>“Uh. Where the hell is everyone? This is not the entrance I was hoping for.” she pouts and takes another look around the empty coffee shop.</p><p>Alex shrugs. “Dunno. You just missed rush hour, actually.”</p><p>“Yeah, by like, an hour.” John snorts.</p><p>Waving a hand, Alex grins at him. “Close enough.”</p><p>Peggy watches the exchange with a single raised eyebrow. “Okay, if you two are done flirting, can we get back to my thing?”</p><p>Hercules joins the two boys behind the counter, apron complete with flour and jam smears. “You think this is flirting? You should see how bad it is when they think no one can hear. Or when they’re drunk.”</p><p>Alex scoffs and John goes red, turning to hide his face.</p><p>“Anyway, I’m sure you’re all super curious as to why I’m here.” Lafayette, who had now also shown up, nods enthusiastically and Peggy points at him, beaming. “Laf! My man. So… two things. One: I’ve been chosen to have my designs displayed in a fashion show!”</p><p>“Mon dieu, Peggy, that is incredible!” Lafayette runs over and hugs her, the others quickly following suit and congratulating her. She had been in the coffee shop multiple times over the past few weeks, always with a laptop, drawing tablet and folder in tow. Whenever anyone had asked what she was doing, she’d wave a hand and murmur something about clothes.</p><p>“Thanks guys! Okay, number two: I need a favour,” she smiles sheepishly. “I need models for the show, and I might have told, like, one person, well, multiple people, that I already had four <em>incredibly</em> attractive models. Y’know, to get a leg up on the competition.”</p><p>“Peggy, are… are we the models?” Alex askes, somewhat incredulously.</p><p>Lafayette claps his hands excitedly, already nodding. “We are in!”</p><p>Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Peggy nods nervously. “I mean, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to do it, but you’d really be helping me out, and-”</p><p>“It’s okay, Pegs. We’re happy to do it, aren’t we, Alexander?” John knocks his shoulder against Alex’s lightly and gives him a soft smile. </p><p>Alex, who’s still trying to get used to the feeling of his insides being turned to mush any time John gives him that smile, isn’t any better at saying no to him than he was the first time John had asked him to do something, and so he raises his eyes to the ceiling briefly and looks back to Peggy. “Yeah. We’re in.”</p><p>She squeals and pulls them into a tight hug. “Thank you thank you thank you!! You won’t regret this, I promise.”</p><p>“I’m already regretting it.” Alex mumbles under his breath, thinking of the time that he should be spending on classwork that’ll be wasted on this. Then again, he thinks as he looks over to John, whose bright smile and freckles seem to light up the room, maybe it won’t be a total waste of time.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, so I’ll come here for the end of your shift, then we can walk to my apartment together. It’s kinda tricky to find.” John explains, blushing slightly. </p><p>“Sounds good,” with a twinkle in his eye, Alex grins at the taller man. “Good thing I’ve got you, huh?”</p><p>“Mmhmm.” John smiles and nods, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Uh, I should go, I have class. But I’ll see you later?”. It’s phrased as a question, and Alex gets the distinct impression that he’s nervous about having Alex at his apartment.</p><p>“You better.” </p><p>“Yeah. Okay, bye, Alexander.”</p><p>“See ya.” and as John leaves the coffee shop, Alex watches him pull out his phone and type anxiously away before he turns the corner and is out of sight. Hm. Is John regretting telling him he could stay? Crap, maybe he had just meant it as a joke, and then Alex had gone and taken him seriously, and he’s just too nice to say so. </p><p>Oh god, maybe he’s worried about Alex staying because the flirting is making him uncomfortable (<em>but was it really flirting? Yes, yes it was, </em>he tells his subconscious, <em>don’t act coy</em>). He has to apologise, he decides as he pulls his phone out. </p><p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy: </em>hey john i just wanted to ask again if you’re sure its okay i stay at yours?<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy: </em> i can find somewhere else if you want<br/>
<em>2nd hottest liberty boy: </em> its not a big deal seriously </p><p>Slipping his phone back in his pocket, he desperately tries to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his head telling him he fucked up and that he’ll see that if he checks John’s response. He busies himself with work and even momentarily forgets about his predicament, until a turtle doodled on the corner on a loose napkin reminds him.</p><p>Letting his anxieties get the best of him, he checks his phone to see if John has replied yet, and sucks in a quick breath when he sees that he has.</p><p><em>hottest liberty boy: </em> yeah ofc its okay!!<br/>
<em>hottest liberty boy: </em>i mean obviously you don’t have to if you’d rather stay somewhere else<br/>
<em>hottest liberty boy: </em> but serisouyl i’m happy to have you stay<br/>
<em>hottest liberty boy: </em> seriosusly*<br/>
<em>hottest liberty boy: </em>seriously*<br/>
<em>hottest liberty boy: </em> gdi</p><p>Alex grins at his phone, his nerves settled, and quickly sends off a reply. His thoughts wander to all the possibilities of that evening (yes, mere seconds after worrying that he’d freaked John out. Alex contains multitudes.) when they’re abruptly interrupted by an annoyed cough.</p><p>Looking up, Alex is greeted by a familiar face. “Aaron Burr, sir!”</p><p>Burr rolls his eyes, looking impatient. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that, Hamilton?”</p><p>“One more time.” </p><p>“Ugh. Can I get a coffee?”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you really just came here for a coffee, Burr?” Alex raises an eyebrow, pointedly grabbing a to-go cup. Just in case Burr is having any thoughts about staying longer than what Alex deems necessary.</p><p>“I was in the area. Believe me, this was the most convenient location, or else I would have gone somewhere else.”</p><p>“Uh huh. That’s $2.80.” Alex says, handing him the coffee. </p><p>Burr pays but stays for a moment after handing Alex the money, watching him carefully. </p><p>“What?” Alex snaps.</p><p>“Nothing. Remember, Alex, -”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he grumbles. “Talk less, smile more. Can you leave now?”</p><p>Burr raises an eyebrow, but leaves without argument.<em> Well, that was fuckin’ weird,</em> muses Alex, watching him go.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Lafayette sighs, fiddling with his phone. He’s waiting for Adrienne to message him when she gets home from her night out and he’s getting more anxious by the minute. <em>It is almost two am in Paris,</em> he thinks, tapping his phone absentmindedly with one finger. <em>She does not usually stay out this late. </em></p><p>“Laf! Are the cookies done yet? We’re all out.” Hercules asks, breaking Lafayette out of his thoughts.</p><p>Sighing, he glances at the oven. “Merde!” </p><p>The cookies are just a tiny bit burnt around the edges, and Laf pulls them out with a groan. “We can cut the burnt bits off?” </p><p>Folding his arms, Herc looks at the frenchman with an unimpressed expression. “C’mon,Laf, you know we don’t do that shit here. What’s going on?”</p><p>Laf slumps down and sighs, his shoulders drooping. Hercules has to stifle a laugh - he cares about his best friend, of course, more than he likes to let on, but he looks so dramatically forlorn. </p><p>“Is it Adrienne?” he asks, feeling jealousy spike and trying to ignore it. Laf nods, not meeting Herc’s eyes. “Aw, don’t stress. She’s probably just busy.”</p><p>“You don’t understand! What if something has happened? What if,” Lafayette gasps, colour draining from his face. “What if she has been attacked? She could be hurt!”</p><p>“Woah, okay, take a deep breath. She hasn’t been hurt or attacked. If she doesn’t message you, it’s because she’s busy, her phone died, she forgot, or any number of other explanations.” </p><p>“Mais non, ‘Ercules! But it might not be so! It might be that something ‘as ‘appened!” Laf’s french accent grows stronger, as it often does when he’s upset. “You do not understand ‘ow ‘ard it is when you care about someone who is living in another country, another continent! I am ‘elpless to do anything if she is in trouble. She is my best friend, I should be there for ‘er.”</p><p>He looks utterly defeated, and Hercules pulls him into a hug. “I know, dude. But hey, isn’t she coming to visit in a few weeks?”</p><p>“Oui, mais… it is not the same thing. I ‘ave still a lot of worry about ‘er. Especially at this time of ni-”</p><p>Laf’s phone chimes twice in quick succession, and he snatches it off the table where it had been laying. His face brightens and a smile appears.</p><p>“She is home! All is well.” he sighs happily.</p><p>Hercules scoffs, shaking his head. “Say hi to her from me. Now, the cookies?”</p><p>“Ah, yes, of course. I shall put them in right away.” Lafayette, still beaming, slips his phone into his pocket after typing out a quick message and starts humming as he works. </p><p>“You know, you’d almost think you still liked her, the way you carry on sometimes.” Herc teases, not looking at Lafayette.</p><p>“Non, ‘Ercules! There is nothing between us but friendship,” answering Herc’s unasked question, Lafayette looks at him curiously. “And, after all, my heart belongs here.”</p><p>Here, in America? Or, here, in the coffee shop’s small kitchen, with Hercules? </p><p>America. Maybe specifically New York, but definitely not specifically this kitchen, Herc decides, squashing any hopes before they had time to grow. </p><p>The problem with that, though? Hopes and dreams are like weeds - they push through and grow wherever they can, whether that means breaking through concrete, searching for the tiniest cracks in a facade, or continuing to bloom despite being trodden on. And so, Hercules’s hopes of Lafayette one day returning his feelings continue to grow, despite his best efforts.</p><p>And Lafayette’s hopes? Well, they’re in full bloom.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>The sun is beating down on the streets of the city, heat rising off the ground in waves. John wipes a hand across his brow as he stands at the traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. He bobs his head slightly to the beat of the music coming through his headphones, and jumps when someone touches his arm.</p><p>“Holy shit! Oh, hi, Eliza. Geez, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” he greets the familiar face.</p><p>Eliza laughs, the sound soft and light. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. Are you on your way to Liberty?”</p><p>“Yeah,” John nods as they walk across the busy street together. “I’m picking up Alexander. He- uh, he’s staying at mine, not because, uh, well, he doesn’t have anywhere to stay right now because his apartment, well, not his apartment actually, but-”</p><p>“John, it’s fine. Alex told me about the pipes bursting.” Eliza looks at him curiously, and he quickly realises how much he’d been rambling in an effort to explain Alex’s staying at his.</p><p>“Oh, he did? That’s good.”. They walk in comfortable silence for a minute, before John turns to look at her. “Where are you headed?”</p><p>“Same as you,” she nods in the general direction they’re walking. “Liberty. Peggy sent me to get coffee, which really means she sent me to go talk to Hercules and Lafayette about a certain friend of theirs she’s interested in. But you didn’t hear that from me,” she winks at John. “Turns out she was telling the truth when she said she wasn’t into Hercules.”</p><p>“I see, so she’s sending you to do her dirty work?” John grins at her, pleasantly surprised by the easy banter flowing between them. “I thought better of her. Who’s the certain person?”</p><p>“I know, tragic, isn’t it? And I’m actually not sure, I don’t know him. He’s called Anthony, she met him at some party Laf introduced them at.” Eliza shrugs, sighing dramatically. “Anyway, what about you? Anyone special in your life?”</p><p>“Ha, yeah, no.” John lets out a laugh, pushing away thoughts of Alex. “And you?”</p><p>“Hmm,” she looks at him, skepticism evident on her face, and moves on. “There might be someone on my horizons. Maybe. It’s early days.”</p><p>“My, my, Elizabeth Schuyler. What have you been getting up to?” he teases her, prodding her lightly in the side.</p><p>“Fine, fine,” she laughs, dodging his quick fingers. “Her name’s Maria. She’s in my Gender Studies class. That’s all I’ll say!”</p><p>John wags a finger at her, “Don’t think you’ve heard the last of this, Miss Schuyler. I want details!”</p><p>They laugh and keep on chatting, but as they walk John can’t help but feel a little… jealous of Eliza. She’s so confident and unapologetic about the person she likes being a girl. John is out and proud, too, but this feels different, and he realises with a start what it is. </p><p>Eliza has family. She has family who love her and don’t give a shit about the gender of who she likes, if her sisters had been anything to go by. </p><p>John thinks back to his family. The last time he’d seen them, the last time they’d been together. </p><p>
  <em>“Father, I know you don’t want to hear this, but-”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m going to stop you right there, Jack. Think very, very carefully about what you’re about to say. Think about what it could mean for you, for your siblings, for our family.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>John sighed, glancing at his little brother, Jemmy, who sat in the car waving frantically at him. “Father, that doesn’t change what I’m going to say. Jemmy doesn’t care, neither do any of the others, okay? This is stupid, everyone knows it already. You’re the only one who can’t bear to see it, so I have to tell you to your face.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Jack-”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, dad! I’m gay, okay? That’s just how it is. I was gay when you made me take Martha Manning to every goddamn political event after the press got wind that the senator’s son might be gay, I was gay when you voted on that awful fucking bill, I was gay every time you talked about me having a wife one day. It doesn’t change anything about me, it’s who I’ve always been.” He angrily wiped a tear away and stared at his father.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Jack Laurens, I will not have a, a, a homosexual in my family. Think of your mother, dear lord.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I was gay when mom died, dad! What fucking difference does it make?” He raised a hand to his mouth, as if to stop himself from yelling, but it was too late.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Henry Laurens took a step back. He looked like John’s words had physically slapped him across the face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How dare you speak to me like that,” He hissed, and John caught a glimpse of Jemmy’s face in the car, no longer waving, now looking concerned and almost scared. “Don’t you dare come back here until you’ve come to your senses.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>John took his bag, giving the man he called his father one last look. There was a fury in his eyes John had never seen before. He glanced at the cat, shakily raising a hand to wave at Jemmy. Trembling slightly, he turned on his heel and made his way into the airport, leaving his family far behind him.</em>
</p><p>“Hey, John? Are you okay?” Eliza’s hand is on his wrist, holding on lightly. “Where’d you go?”</p><p>John shakes his head but then nods quickly, looking at her in surprise. “I, uh, sorry. I just. I’m good.” </p><p>He flashes her a smile, but she doesn't look convinced. With a start, he notices that they’re  already standing in front of Liberty Coffee. Wow, how long has he been out of it? Man, that’s embarrassing.</p><p>Looking through the window, he sees Alex looking at him with confusion and concern. John letting out a shaky breath, turns back to Eliza. “Hey, uh, don’t tell anyone about that. Please?”</p><p>She nods, still holding onto his wrist, like she’s afraid he’ll float off again. “Yeah, of course. But, John? If you ever need to talk to someone, I’m here, okay? Wait, I’ll give you my number.”</p><p>She takes his phone out of his pliant hands and types something in, handing it back to him with her usual warm smile back on her face.</p><p>“Thanks,” he gives her a small smile, a part of his mind still back with his family. “Let’s go in. I bet Peggy is wondering where her coffee - and her intel - is.” </p><p>Eliza laughs and takes his hand, opening the door to the coffee shop.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Alex watches as Eliza and John talk outside the big windows at the front of the shop. There’s concern on the young woman’s face as she speaks to the young man, and Alex briefly thinks about what an attractive couple they’d make. Feeling a hot flash of jealousy run through him, he reminds himself that, a, John’s gay, he’d told him himself, and b, Eliza’s also gay, and c, he has no ownership over John. He can date who he wants.</p><p>Objectively, though? Damn, the two of them look good. </p><p>The bell above the door chimes as the two of them walk in, arm in arm. </p><p>“Alex,” Eliza smiles warmly at him. “Long time, no see.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s been ages,” he jokes, thinking back to their class together the previous day. “How are you?”</p><p>“Oh, same old,” she waves a hand vaguely. “Are Herc and Laf around? Peggy knows someone they know and wants info.”</p><p>“Yeah, they’re in the back, you can go on through. Want me to make you a drink whilst you’re here?”</p><p>“Nah, I’m good. See you, Alex. John, text me, okay?” she smiles at the both of them and walks into the kitchen, leaving the two boys alone.</p><p>Alex looks up at John, who still has a faint line of worry across his forehead. “Hey, J. You okay?” he asks quietly, moving closer to him. </p><p>“Yeah, sure.” John smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. </p><p>“Pfft. You’re a terrible liar. What’s up?” Alex asks, folding his arms. “Oh, I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, obviously.”</p><p>Rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and fiddling with the edge of a stray napkin with the other, John avoids Alex’s gaze. “Um, yeah. I’d rather not talk about it, not right now, at least, if that’s okay? I need a distraction.” </p><p>Alex brightens up, hiding his concern for John. “Aha! I’m excellent at distractions. We have approximately twelve minutes until close. Wanna bet I can talk without taking a break longer than three seconds for at least, hm, eight of those minutes? You can choose the topic. You have to take any customers that come in, though.”</p><p>“Okay,” John deliberates for a few seconds, deciding on a topic. “You. You’re the topic. Talk about yourself.”</p><p>“Me?” Alex blanches for a moment, staring at John in surprise. “Okay, yeah, I can talk about me. Shit, I never stop talking about myself. This’ll be easy.”</p><p>“Great,” John laughs. “What do I get if I win?”</p><p>“Ah, well, that’s for me to know, and you to find out.” Alex says, winking at John. </p><p>John blushes, looking at the clock. “Okay, your time starts… now.”</p><p>“Okay, well, as you already know, my name is Alexander Hamilton - which happens to be a family name, not that it matters, seeing as the family that gave me it either fucked off and left me, or died, but that’s besides the point, which is that I was given that name by my mom, Rachel, who raised me as a single mother on the island of Nevis, which is in the Carribean,” Alex pauses, taking a quick half-a-second breath. </p><p>“It was kinda shitty, not the island itself, but growing up there, because the people there were pretty judgemental about my mom being a single parent and having me out of wedlock, and then when my dad up and left it got even worse, as you can imagine, and I mean, I was only eight, so who knows how much I’m blocking out?”</p><p>Taking another breath, he continues as John listens closely. “Everything was good, fine, for a few years, and then when I was eleven my mom and I got really sick, and I got better, but she, uh, she didn’t, so I got moved to my cousin's place and, well, he killed himself a year later, but it’s okay, well, not okay, obviously, but I’ve worked through it. It was a long time ago.”</p><p>He sucks in a deep breath as John places a hand on his arm, worry evident on his face. “J, seriously, it’s okay, I don’t mind talking about it. After my cousin died, I moved around a lot, working odd jobs, usually something with books, reading was basically my lifeline for a long time, it helped me through a lot, you know? Anyway, there was a hurricane, I don’t know if you remember it, it was on the news, Hurricane Colin, which, by the way, is a dumbass fucking name for a hurricane, if you ask me, anyway, the hurricane destroyed, well, everything, I guess. I was one of the only survivors.”</p><p>Pausing to breathe again, he avoids John’s gaze. John, starting to feel extremely guilty for getting Alex to talk about himself, leaves his hand on Alex’s arm, thumb rubbing soft circles into his skin. “I was fifteen when it happened, I wrote an essay about the hurricane and it got published to a paper and got really well known, like, there were people coming to the island because of it and everything, which led to the people of the community raising money to fund my education, despite the fact that they had been such judgemental dicks to my mom and I, because they didn’t actually know it was me that wrote it, due to the essay being published anonymously, so they ended up raising enough money to send me to New York where I ended up at a boarding school, which is where I met Hercules, who was my roommate there.”</p><p>Alex stops for a second to think about what happened next. “So, I went to that school for a few years, until I graduated, and then I somehow got accepted to Columbia, I guess? I was working odd jobs that whole time, but then Herc told me about this place a couple years ago and I applied and got in, obviously, and then one day Laf showed up and asked for a job and it turned out he was starting as an exchange student at Columbia as well, plus he’s basically a son to Washington, their families go way back, so that’s how we all ended up here. That’s my life story, I suppose. I still have, like, two minutes left that I said I’d be speaking for, but-”</p><p>Alex stops in the middle of his sentence, letting out a huge yawn. He blinks blearily and gears himself up to continue speaking, when John puts up a finger.</p><p>“That was an eight second break, I’m afraid.” he grins at Alex.</p><p>“What? That’s so not fair, you can’t control yawning! That doesn’t count!” Alex tells him indignantly, but is secretly glad that he doesn’t have to talk anymore (a sentiment he was unfamiliar with). That had been a lot of information about himself, way more than he usually tells people, and he’d just given it up to John so freely. What the hell is going on with him? </p><p><em>Oh,</em> he thinks as John flashed him another, brilliant smile, and his stomach falls out from underneath him, <em>that’s what’s going on with him. </em></p><p>“Ugh, fine. You win,” He grumbles in mock annoyance. “But don’t think I won’t get you back for this!”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. What about my prize, huh?” John holds out a hand expectantly.</p><p>“You’ll get that later,” Alex tells him, thoughts rushing through his head. “Don’t you worry.”</p><p>John raises a questioning eyebrow but Alex just winks at him, grinning when he sees a faint blush rise to John’s cheeks. </p><p>As the two men close up the shop, flipping the sign, putting chairs on tables and sweeping the floor, Eliza comes out from the kitchen, Hercules and Lafayette in tow. </p><p>“Bye boys, have a nice night!” she calls as she leaves. “Thanks for the help, guys.”</p><p>They watch her go and Lafayette holds his hands to his chest, sighing happily. “Ah, l’amour!” A dreamy expression crosses his face.</p><p>“I take it the guy Peggy likes is interested in her as well?” John asks, laughing.</p><p>“He is,” Lafayette grins cheekily. “Isn’t it nice, Hercules, when people like those who like them back?” </p><p>He winks at Hercules, who blushes, expression stoic. Laf chuckles and goes to the kitchen to grab his bag.</p><p>“Herc, you wanna explain what’s…?” Alex asks slyly.</p><p>“Nope,” Herc grabs his bag, still blushing when Laf returns. “Uh, are you guys good here?”</p><p>“Yeah, we got it, we’re pretty much done, anyway.”</p><p>He nods. “Okay, then I’m, uh, we’re gonna, uh, yeah. Bye, guys.”</p><p>He and Lafayette hurries out into the busy street, the latter still teasing him about something, hanging onto his arm and looping it with his own. They almost knock an old lady over in their distracted states, and as soon as the door shuts behind him, Alex and John turn to look at each other.</p><p>“Well, that was… weird.” Alex says, and the two boys burst out laughing.</p><p>“Man, what the hell was all that about?” John chuckles.</p><p>Alex shrugs, a glint in his eye. “Seems like our friends might have finally realised their feelings for each other aren’t unrequited.”</p><p>Smiling, John glances at Alex and then quickly looks away again. “Lucky them.” he murmurs. </p><p>Giving him a questioning look but deciding not to say anything, Alex walks over to the counter, where his bag is stuffed away. “I think we’re good to go. Um, I’ll just grab my suitcase, it’s in the back.”</p><p>“Oh, shit, do you need help carrying anything?” </p><p>“Nah, I’m good,” he quickly gets his threadbare bag and checks if the straps will hold out for another trip. They look fine, and so he makes his way to the front of the shop. </p><p>John stands waiting for him, his own bag on his back. Alex takes a moment to look at John, really see him. His hair is half tied up and he’s wearing a plain black tee and jeans. He looks ridiculously good, and Alex inwardly sighs at the thought of having to live in the same space as him but not being able to do any of the things he really wants to be doing. Although, he thinks to himself, you never know what can happen.</p><p>John clears his throat and Alex realises he’s still looking at John. “Uh, yep, sorry. I’m ready to go if you are?”</p><p>“Yeah, I have everything. You sure you don’t need help carrying anything? I mean, it’s not far, but still.”</p><p>“J, I got it. But thank you.”</p><p>John nods, smiling and opens the door for Alex, and then steps out himself, locking it behind them. The walk to John’s apartment really isn’t far, it’s much closer than Alex expected, only taking them ten minutes to walk there. </p><p>It’s a nice building, not too fancy, but definitely not cheap either, nothing like Alex’s own apartment. There’s an ivy trellis growing up the side of the red brick wall, like something out of a storybook, Alex notices. He follows John to the front door, a huge wooden thing, and watches in amusement as John struggles to open it, eventually shoving it open with his shoulder. </p><p>“Thanks for the help.” he says dryly, and Alex lets out a laugh.</p><p>“Oops, sorry. I was enjoying the show, though.” </p><p>He sees the tips of John’s ears go red from behind as he follows him up the stairs and he smiles to himself.</p><p>“Sorry, it’s a few flights up and there’s no elevator,” John calls back to him. “We’re almost there, though.”</p><p>Alex nods mutely, trying to hide how hard he’s breathing (<em>when did he get so unfit?</em>), and exhales in relief when John finally stops on the fourth floor. </p><p>He fumbles for a key and gives Alex an embarrassed smile when he tries to put the key in the wrong way at first, cursing under his breath. </p><p>“Okay,” he pushes the door open, leading Alex into his apartment. “This is it, I guess. It’s not much...”</p><p>“John, this is at least twice the size of my place, plus my apartment is literally uninhabitable right now. This is amazing.” Alex reassures him. Looking around the apartment, it really is gorgeous, he thinks. A studio loft, full of wood and exposed brick, with art and plants everywhere. It’s a hipster’s wet dream. </p><p>“Oh, um, you can put your stuff, well, wherever,” John shrugs, gesturing to the space around them. “And I have an air mattress - and yes, before you ask, I used to go camping - I can set up for you, or, uh, you can, uh, sleep in my bed? It’s big, there’s enough space, but like I said, I can set up the mattress, oh, or you can sleep on the couch but it might be a little short, but I can-”</p><p>“Hey,” interrupting him, Alex smiles at him. “Your bed is fine.”</p><p>“Okay.” John lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.</p><p>Alex gingerly sets his bags down, and pauses, turning to look at John. “Hey, would it be okay if I worked those files Washington sent me? I wanted to get some work done earlier, but the shop was busy all day.” he trails off apologetically.</p><p>“Yeah, of course!” John looks relieved. “Actually, I needed to get some work done as well.”</p><p>They walk over to the couch, and Alex notices that one corner of the room, near the couch and next to a huge window, is full of art supplies. A half-painted canvas sits on a wooden easel, and there are paint splatters covering the floor and walls. A couple of shelves are overflowing with paints in every possible colour, and Alex can see brushes and palettes poking out of a small chest of drawers.</p><p>Alex walks closer to the painting on the easel, and whirls round to look at John. “Holy shit, this is incredible! What the fuck, J?”</p><p>John lets out a laugh and joins him at the easel. “Eh, it’s okay. I’m working on it.”</p><p>The painting, from what Alex can tell, is something underwater. It looks like John has only painted the base - okay, that’s a lie. Maybe. Alex has no clue about art, or how people paint, or what the terms are. Regardless, John has painted what looks like the water, and Alex can make out some faint sketches of various sea creatures that have yet to be painted. </p><p>But the water, goddamn, the water looks amazing. The light is shining through the surface, and it looks so real that for a second Alex is thrown back to life on Nevis, surrounded by deep turquoise water. </p><p>“How did you do that? With the water, and the light?” he demands, turning to look at John, who just shrugs.</p><p>“Oh, I don’t know. Practice, I guess?”</p><p>“Yeah, and a whole lotta talent. This is insanely good, J. Really.” </p><p>John blushes and smiles. “Thanks, Alexander.”</p><p>“Anytime,” Alex says, taking another look at the picture and shaking his head. “Okay, I really gotta work on the accounts. There’s something super weird about them and I guess it’s my job now to find out what’s not adding up.”</p><p>They work in relative silence for a little over two hours, stopping partway through to order pizza (hawaiian for John, who Alex declared a heathen, and pepperoni, sweetcorn, mushrooms, and broccoli for Alex, a combination that made John wrinkle his nose in disgust), the two boys each in their element. John stands at the easel, painting, occasionally stepping back to look at his piece from further away. Alex sits on the couch, typing away, looking up at John every so often. He looks up sometimes to find John looking at him, and when he does, the two grin at each other and look away again.</p><p>Alex had started out sitting ‘politely’, with his back straight against the back of the couch and his feet firmly on the floor. By the two hour mark, however, he had moved so that he’s now essentially lying on the couch with one leg thrown over the back, his laptop on his chest. </p><p>Letting out a yawn, he sits up to stretch and realises how dark it’s gotten. The only lights in the apartment are coming from Alex’s laptop, and a standing lamp John had pointed at his artwork. </p><p>Peering around the room for John, he realises the other man is sitting on a stool, a little away from his easel, head leant down as he dozes. Alex smiles, his heart warming as he looks at him - wait. His heart? Jesus, really this time, what the hell is going on with him? He’s had crushes before, but never like this. </p><p>Alex gets up, his joints popping, and John wakes with a start.</p><p>“Sorry,” Alex says, his voice soft and raspy from not talking for a few hours. “We should go to sleep. In a bed, not on a stool.”</p><p>“Ha, yeah.” John says, standing up weakly and rubbing his eyes. “I have a feeling sleeping on a stool wouldn’t be great for my back. Or my neck. Or anywhere, really.”</p><p>Letting out a quiet laugh, Alex shuts down his laptop. “Where’s your bathroom?”</p><p>John points the door out to him, and yawns again. He’s exhausted, Alex realises as he looks at himself in the mirror. He hasn’t been sleeping properly for months, and it’s starting to catch up to him. </p><p>He quickly brushes his teeth and gets ready to go to bed, changing into an oversized tee and boxer shorts. When he leaves the bathroom, John nods to the bed.</p><p>“I changed the sheets, left side is mine, you can just… uh. Get in, I guess?” he looks confused with himself, but Alex nods and smiles.</p><p>When John leaves the bathroom, he’s wearing pajama bottoms and nothing else, and even in the dark, Alex can make out the lines of John’s abs. </p><p>“Uh, I hope it’s okay, I get way too warm in summer otherwise, -” John starts rambling, and Alex interrupts him.</p><p>“Yeah, of course, John. It’s your bed. I’m certainly not complaining.” he says, and whilst he can’t see if John blushed, he’s pretty sure he did. </p><p>“Okay,” John murmurs and gets into bed, too tired to even really think about what was going on. “Goodnight, Alexander.”. He reaches out and finds Alex’s hand underneath the covers, and squeezes it softly before letting go again.</p><p>“Night, J.” Alex says quietly into the darkness.</p><p>A few moments pass, and their breathing evens out as they begin to doze off.</p><p>“Hey, you never gave me my prize.” John mumbles behind him, already half asleep.</p><p>“Oh,” Alex whispers into the darkness. Turning around to look at John, whose eyes are already closed, he leans in and places a quick kiss on his cheek. He quickly turns back over, and moves a little closer to John’s warm body under the covers. “There’s your prize.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>talk to me on tumblr @cherrydykes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Best Laid Plans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for a panic attack!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, John wakes up to find himself curled up in Alex’s arms, warm and safe. For a split second, he panics - why is Alex in his bed?! And then everything from the previous day comes back to him.</p><p>Including the kiss Alex had given him as a prize.</p><p>Holy shit. </p><p>Alex had kissed him.</p><p>Okay, only on the cheek, but still, John can’t stop himself from grinning into the morning silence. He carefully lifts a hand to touch his cheek, trying not to wake the sleeping boy next to him.</p><p>Brushing against the exact spot Alex had kissed him, he shifts a little so he can look at him better. Alex looks so… peaceful. </p><p>When he’s awake, he’s non-stop, always going, talking, doing, John thinks as he looks at him. Right now he’s just being, just existing in the quiet morning around them. John watches his mouth part as he breathes out and fights the urge to kiss him.</p><p>That’s definitely a bad idea. Right? Yeah, definitely. Waking up a friend who’s crashing in your apartment by kissing them is a Bad Idea, John decides. </p><p>Reluctantly, he lifts Alex’s arm from where it’s wrapped around John’s side and slips out from underneath. He gets up quietly, checking his phone as he goes. </p><p>It’s a little after six, the time John usually gets up. He’d worked on a series of paintings that focused on morning light for a few months, and his body is still clinging to the early mornings he had gotten used to. </p><p>He looks at his phone again, realising he had only checked the time, and not actually the notifications littering the screen.</p><p>
  <em>3:48AM - (1) missed call from Martha<br/>
4:02AM - (2) missed calls from Martha<br/>
4:16AM - (3) missed calls from Martha</em>
</p><p><em>Martha:</em> jack pick up for fucks sake<br/>
<em>Martha:</em> jack i swear to fucking god<br/>
<em>Martha:</em> jack when you read this you better fucking call me<br/>
<em>Martha:</em> john!!</p><p>Shit. What the hell is going on? Martha doesn’t text him often, they facetime a couple times a month, always making sure their father isn’t around when they do. For her to both text and call him is odd.</p><p><em>Martha:</em> john its about jemmy</p><p>John feels his blood run cold. Heart racing, he calls Martha as fast as his hands would allow.</p><p>
  <em>“Jack!”</em>
</p><p>“Martha, what the fuck is going on, what happened?”</p><p>
  <em>“Jack, thank god, it’s Jemmy, he - he got into an accident.”</em>
</p><p>“What?! Is he okay? What-”</p><p><em>“He’s in the hospital right now. He, ugh it’s so dumb,”</em> John can hear Martha sniffling on the other end of the phone. <em>“He tried to climb out of his window onto the roof to look at the stars and he fell.”</em></p><p>“How bad is it?” John is numb, unable to think about anything outside of his brother being injured.</p><p><em>“It’s bad, Jack. He’s being operated on. He fractured his right leg and arm, and he-”</em> A sob hiccups out of the phone. <em>“He cracked his head when he landed. It’s not as bad as it could be, because he landed on his feet, but he fell because, well, his leg broke, and he caught himself with his head.”</em></p><p>John vaguely registers the phone slipping from his hand, falling to the ground with a dull thud. All he can hear is a rush of static, his vision blurry.</p><p>Alex wakes with a start. His surroundings are not his usual surroundings, and he looks around, waiting for his brain to catch up with his eyes. When he sees John, everything slips into place.</p><p>Then he really sees John. Sees how he’s shaking as he stands, eyes unfocused but looking straight ahead, the phone lying on the ground.</p><p><em>“Jack? Jack?! Shit.”</em> Alex hears a tinny voice echoing from the phone.</p><p>As quickly as he can, Alex bolts out of the bed and to John’s side. He stands in front of him, looking into his eyes, searching for a sign of, well, anything.</p><p>“John? J, buddy, you there?” He asks softly.</p><p>Getting no reaction, he places his hands on John’s cheeks, gently forcing him to look at Alex.</p><p>“J, give me a sign if you can hear me? Blink twice if you can, or take my hand, something,” He pleads, concern growing by the second.</p><p>John can see Alex standing in front of him, can see his lips moving, but he still has a roar of static in his ears, drowning out anything Alex is saying.</p><p>Jemmy. Jemmy is hurt. He had gotten hurt trying to - fuck! Trying to do something John had told him about. Climbing onto the roof at night was something John had done when he still lived at home, when their father had been worse than usual. He’s the one who told Jemmy about it, who told him he’d take him up there one day.</p><p>But then he came out to their father, and he hasn’t seen Jemmy since he had been told not to come back until he ‘came to his senses’. </p><p>This is all his fault. It’s his fault Jemmy is hurt, is in hospital.</p><p>Alex is losing patience, scared of what’s happening to John. </p><p>“Fuck!” He curses, running his hands through his hair, trying to remember what helps him out of panic attacks. Someone talking him through it usually works, but John isn’t responding to Alex’s voice, like he can’t hear him. What else can he do?</p><p>Distractions help, but what’s distracting enough? </p><p>Alex remembers a scene from Teen Wolf (of all things, Teen Wolf is the series Hercules had convinced him to watch with him when they were room mates at boarding school) where one of the characters had been snapped out of a panic attack by a kiss. </p><p>Taking a deep breath, Alex briefly thinks about whether this is a good idea or not, but he’s getting desperate, and it’s so painful to see John like this, he just has to do something to help.</p><p>So, he kisses him.</p><p>He takes a step forward, putting his hands back on John’s cheeks, standing on his tiptoes, and kissing John. It’s a short kiss, but sweet and soft.</p><p>John gasps, feeling like he can breathe again after being underwater. He looks around in confusion, focusing his gaze on Alex, who’s standing in front of him, concern evident on his face.</p><p>“J! Oh thank fucking god, you’re okay, holy shit, I’m sorry for kissing you, I didn’t know what else to do and you were panicking and not breathing properly and -”</p><p>“Hey,” John reaches out and takes Alex’s hand in one of his. “Thank you. You don’t have to apologise.”</p><p>His mind is still racing with thoughts of his brother, but now a tiny part is occupied with Alex, enough that John isn’t in danger of completely shutting down anymore. </p><p>“Okay,” Alex says softly, still extremely worried. “What happened?”</p><p>“Oh, shit, Martha,” John says by way of an answer, and picks up the phone, holding it to his ear. “Marth, sorry, I- uh, dropped my phone. I have to go, but keep me updated, okay? Please.”</p><p><em>Who the hell is Martha,</em> Alex thinks and then mentally tells himself off for being jealous at a time like this.</p><p>“Um, that was my sister. My brother, Jemmy, he got hurt really bad. He’s in hospital. It’s bad, Alexander.” John’s shoulders slump, and he crumples in on himself, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.</p><p>“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’ll be okay.” Alex wraps his arms around the taller man, trying to hold him together. He leads him back to the bed and sits him down. “Um, I’m gonna get you a glass of water. I’ll be back in a sec, okay?” </p><p>John watches as he runs across the studio apartment to John’s kitchen, cracking a small smile as Alex stands in the middle of the kitchen, looking around with confusion as he realises he doesn’t know where John keeps the glasses.</p><p>“Middle cabinet.” coughing a little, John’s voice is muffled and quiet. </p><p>Coming back successful, Alex holds a glass in John’s face. “Drink this.”</p><p>He takes it and gulps it down gratefully. looking up at Alex, John feels shame pool in his stomach. “It’s my fault.”</p><p>“Huh? What’s your fault? How is it your fault your brother got hurt? You were next to me all night, remember?” Alex takes a seat next to him on the bed and nudges him with his knee.</p><p>“He- he was trying to climb on the roof. To see the stars. I told him about how I used to do it, told him I’d show him some day. But then I just had to go and tell my fucking dad that I’m gay, and then I never got the chance to show Jemmy the stars, so he tried by himself,” John says, his voice barely more than a whisper. “It’s my fault.”</p><p>“Oh, J, honey, no,” Alex wraps his arms around John, the term of endearment slipping out. “This isn’t your fault. Okay? This is <em>not</em> your fault.”</p><p>John lets out a ragged breath, running a hand over his face. “But, if I hadn’t told him about it he wouldn’t have tried, if I hadn’t come out to my dad, I’d have gone back and would have done it with him, he wouldn’t have tried to do it alone.”</p><p>“No, he would have either come up with it himself, or you would have both gotten hurt, or he would have gotten hurt anyway, or he would have done something completely different and gotten hurt that way. Okay? J, listen to me,” Alex places a hand on John’s cheek, turning his head to look at Alex. “I promise you this wasn’t your fault.”</p><p>“Okay.” John says, his voice small. </p><p>They sit in silence for a few minutes, Alex rubbing comforting circles on John’s back, his head resting on his shoulder. Focusing on the feeling of Alex’s hand and the weight of his head was helping John to calm down, and he tried to ignore the shame still in his stomach. </p><p>Trying to distract himself from the situation, knowing there’s nothing he can do from where he’s sitting, he turns to look at the boy next to him.</p><p>“Hey,” he prompts, clearing his throat a little. “You kissed me.” </p><p>“Oh!” Alex blushes, a rare sight, one John mentally saves and locks away. “Um, yeah, sorry about that, I didn’t know what else to do. I saw once on uh, a tv show, that it helped to get someone out of a panic attack. I’m sorry, I should have checked if it was okay-”</p><p>He’s interrupted by John snorting. “How? I couldn’t hear you. I was real fuckin’ deep in it.”</p><p>Alex laughs softly, his hand still tracing circles on John’s back. “Yeah, but still. Consent and all.”</p><p>John smiles, mind wandering. Had Alex only kissed him to get him out of his panic attack? Was it just a platonic thing? Forcing himself to think rationally (or at least, what he thinks was rationally), he reasons with himself. Alex had definitely only kissed him to help him in that moment. Uh-huh. Nevermind the fact that he had kissed him on the cheek last night… That can definitely be explained as well. Yep. There’s no way Alex has feelings for him.</p><p>Right?</p><p>“You still with me?” Alex asks, lifting his head to look at John, who had gone quiet.</p><p>“Yeah, still with you,” John smiles at him. “Um, about the kiss, I’m, uh, sorry? That you had to do that. To snap me out of it, I mean.”</p><p>“Oh my god, J, you really don’t have to apologise,” laughing, Alex knocks his knee against John’s. “Seriously. I really, really didn’t mind.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” John asks, worry lacing his voice.</p><p>“Yes, you big dummy! You know what? It was in my top ten kisses,” Alex tells him smugly, raising an eyebrow. “Not the best, because, well, you weren’t exactly… there, for it, but hey. <em>Definitely</em> not the worst.” </p><p>“Aw, only top ten?” His voice teasing, John tries not to let what Alex is saying get to him. He’s just being nice. Yep. Nice. Friendly, because that’s what they are, and all they’ll be. Friends.</p><p><em>He must not like me like that,</em> Alex gloomily decides, trying not to let it show on his face.<em> After all, I’ve pretty much told him I wanted to kiss him and even liked kissing him and he’s not even reacting. </em></p><p><em>He doesn’t like me like that,</em> both boys decide at the same time, sitting next to each other, hearts beating in the same rhythm. <em>He doesn’t like me the way I like him.</em></p><p>John picks up his phone, checking to see if he has any new messages from Martha. Nothing. Noticing the time, he sighs. </p><p>“We should get ready. We have to be at work pretty soon,” Reluctantly pulling himself away from Alex’s side, John stands, stretching, and makes his way to the kitchen. “What d’you want for breakfast?”</p><p>Alex, mourning the loss of John’s body by his side, cranes his head to look at John. “Uh, I don’t know. Coffee?”</p><p>“Yeah, duh, but that’s not breakfast,” rolling his eyes, John starts making coffee. “You need actual food, Alexander.”</p><p>“Coffee is a perfectly adequate breakfast, thank you very much!” Alex tells him indignantly.</p><p>“Hmm,” John hums absentmindedly. Bringing a mug over, he hands it to Alex. “Here. Black, just how you like it.”</p><p>“Ahh, just like my soul.” taking it gratefully, Alex inhales deeply. He desperately tries to ignore the swooping feeling in his stomach, telling himself that it’s nothing special that John knows his coffee preferences. After all, black coffee is literally the easiest thing to remember.</p><p>“Ha, yeah right. You’re a softie, Alexander Hamilton. We all know it.” </p><p>Alex takes a sip of the coffee and feels his heart skip a beat when he tastes the dash of cinnamon John had added. Okay, so John had noticed Alex put cinnamon in his coffee. No big deal. </p><p>Even though Alex has never told <em>anyone</em> that he does that, and he always tries to do it discreetly. It’s the way his mom had drunk coffee, he can remember the smell. <em>John’s so attentive, </em>Alex muses as he watches him look through his kitchen drawers. <em>He must have just noticed me putting a dash in at some point. That was all.</em></p><p>“You sure you don’t want anything to eat?” John asks him, folding his arms. </p><p>“Yes, J, I’m sure!” Alex laughs. “I’m not really a morning person. It usually takes a while for me to wake up. Most of the time I only wake up ten minutes before I have to leave the apartment.” he shrugs.</p><p>John rubs the back of his neck, feeling guilty. “Sorry for waking you up earlier.”</p><p>“Oh my god, no, that’s not what I meant! Don’t apologise. Seriously.”</p><p>He isn’t convinced, but Alex’s answer is enough for John to go back to making himself something to eat. The two get ready for the day in comfortable silence, each basking in the other's presence.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Lafayette lets out a laugh at John’s theatrics as he drapes himself across the table the two are sat at in the college library. “It’s not funny, Laf!” John moans, voice muffled as he burrows his face into the open textbook in front of him.</p><p>“I disagree, mon ami. It is rather amusing,” Laf informs him, chuckling. “Why are you so stressed? Just enjoy the feeling of being in love!”</p><p>“I’m not in love, I just like him,” John protests, raising his head to glare at the laughing frenchman. “And it’s stressful! That’s why I’m stressed! Alex is living in my apartment, sleeping in my bed, and I just have to act like I’m not constantly thinking about slamming him into the wall and kissing him senseless.”</p><p>“Wow, someone needs to get laid.” </p><p>“Ugh, we never should have taught you that phrase. But… yeah,” sighing, John’s shoulders slump. “I keep getting boners at the worst times. It’s only been six days since he unofficially moved in and I’ve had to take, like, eight cold showers.”</p><p>“...cold showers?” </p><p>“I’ll explain some other time.” John waves his hand vaguely, and Laf frowns. He doesn’t like not understanding things his friends say.</p><p>Lafayette has been living in America for a little over a year, he’s been going to school there, been working there, speaking the language daily, but he still has problems with it. He even already knew English when he moved, he’d learnt it in France! And yet it still feels like every day there’s a new saying or word he’s never heard before, or he says something wrong or pronounces it in a way that makes people laugh politely behind their hands. </p><p>Lafayette loves it in America (mostly). He really does. But he doesn’t love feeling and being treated like he’s stupid just because he can’t speak perfect English.</p><p>Dragging his attention back to John, who’s still wallowing in self pity, Lafayette hums thoughtfully. “What?” John looks at him, a pout on his face.</p><p>“Well, mon ami, I am wondering, if you are so sure that Alex does not like you - which I would not be, if I was you - why not make a plan to, merde, qu'est-que ç'est le mot, a moment please,” holding up a finger, Laf whips out his phone and types something in. “Aha! Why not make a plan to seduce him? After all, I have a feeling that our Alex is more fond of you than you might think.”</p><p>John thinks about it, debating the pros and cons. “Hmm… I don’t know, Laf.”</p><p>“Just give it a go! What is the worst that could happen?” </p><p>He can think of about seven worst case scenarios. But, he can also think of a best case scenario - Alex liking him back. Pushing down the giddy feeling the idea was giving him, John glances at Lafayette demurely. “Fine. I’ll try it.” </p><p>“Yes! Oh, I wanted to ask, how is your brother?”</p><p>“He’s okay. Martha said he’s still in hospital and mostly sleeps a lot, but he’s stable, and he’s recovering. The doctors said there’s not much they can do at this point but wait.”</p><p>“Ah. I hope he continues to recover well.” Laf looks at John with sincerity in his eyes.</p><p>“Thanks, Laf,” John smiles at him. “Now, can we please get back to studying? This test is gonna kick my ass if I don’t study for it.”</p><p>Lafayette nods, deciding not to mention the fact that John was the one who couldn’t stop talking about how perfect Alex is and how terrible his predicament is, and just smiles.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“I hate this, Herc!” Alex complains, rolling out pastry dough in the kitchen of Liberty Coffee.</p><p>“What’d the dough ever do to you?” Hercules asks, bemused.</p><p>“No, not the dough. The dough is innocent.” </p><p>“Oh. You mean the situation with John?”</p><p>Alex sighs with his whole body, collapsing into a chair. “Yes! I don’t know what to do, and I’m fucking <em>pining</em>, and I hate it.”</p><p>Snapping his fingers and pointing at the dough, Herc rolls his eyes as Alex grumbles but gets back up and continues rolling out the dough. Hercules had learnt that it was best, in these situations, to let Alex talk his way to a resolution, or a way out. Either way, it requires Alex talking. A lot. The pastries still needed to be prepared though.</p><p>“I mean, fuck! I literally kissed him just six days ago, and nothing! I mean, yeah, okay, I kissed him to get him to stop panicking, but still!” Alex tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “I thought he’d been flirting with me! I’ve been flirting, why hasn’t he noticed?”</p><p>Herc only hums in response, knowing Alex isn’t really paying attention to him anyway. He methodically lays out bowls of sliced fruit and nuts for Alex to fill the pastries with. Alex, to his credit, immediately begins doing so without stopping his monologue.</p><p>“So, like, he obviously doesn’t like me like that, right? Because I thought I was being pretty obvious, so if he’s not responding then it must be because he doesn’t like me. Oh my god, Herc, do you know how hard it is to sleep in the same bed as someone you like when they don’t like you back? It’s torture. Especially when he walks around shirtless, like, after showering or before bed or whatever. Holy fuck, Herc. I just want him to… ugh. Just push me onto the bed and make out with me. Have you ever seen John’s abs? They’re to die for. I’m serious. I’ve never seen a body as perfect as his. Toned, but not too toned, y’know?”</p><p>“Start folding them,” Hercules instructs him, gesturing to the pastries. “Braid them. Have you tried talking to him?”</p><p>“Oh, absolutely not,” Alex tells him, hands moving automatically. “What if he hates me for it? Plus, I’d definitely have to move out if he doesn’t like me, which he doesn’t. So. That’d mean giving up sleeping next to John and seeing him shirtless, and in the morning when he’s all sleepy and cute. His hair gets so fluffy, Herc, you have no idea. It’s adorable. Also, when he’s painting and he’s all concentrated and in the art zone, or whatever, he gets a little crease in his forehead right here,” he gestures to a spot on his forehead. “It’s weirdly hot. Like, I don’t know if it’s just because he’s concentrating and being all arty that it’s hot, but damn.”</p><p>Placing a bowl of whisked egg and a bowl of sugar next to the braided pastries, Hercules hands Alex a brush. “So what’re you going to do about it?”</p><p>Alex studies the pastries, dipping the brush in the egg and painting it onto them carefully, using his other hand to sprinkle sugar over them. “I have a plan. I’m going to seduce him. It’s an eight step plan. But I’m already at step three, so it shouldn’t take long. Unless… he really doesn’t like me.”</p><p>Suddenly feeling rather small and unsure of himself, Alex wonders if he might be wrong about his plan. What if it just pushes John away from him? Most of the time, Alex is confident in everything he does. He had learnt at a young age that there’s no point doing something if you don’t believe in it. He had also learnt that if you approach something with confidence, usually it’ll go the way you wanted it to.</p><p>Usually.</p><p>“What’re the steps?” Herc asks, taking the tray from him and placing it in the oven. </p><p>“Oh, um, well,” Alex thinks for a moment, tearing himself out of his worries. “Step one was; flirt with John. Which I’ve done, and will continue to keep doing. Two was to spend more time with him - I’m literally living with the guy, not much more time I can spend with him. Three was to be more touchy - I kissed him, we sleep in the same bed, we cuddle, all that shit. I’m gonna try to touch him more, though. More casually, y’know? Like, little brushes. Stuff like that. So, step four, the next one, is to make him realise how hot I am. I already know he’s hot, but now it’s my time to shine. Step five is to show him how much he likes having me there, how well we work together. I’m not totally sure how I’m gonna do that yet, but I’ll get it. Six is to show him that I’m not just hot but I’m also very cute. Like, it’s good to be hot, but being hot and cute is a whole other thing. A thing he’s very good at. So I’m gonna be good at it, too. Number seven; show him what a good boyfriend I’d be! Also not entirely sure how I’m gonna do that one. The final step is, well, I guess it’s for him to realise he likes me. If I get that far.” Alex finally turns to look at Hercules, who’s silently laughing. “Hey!” he folds his arms indignantly. “I think it’s a good plan.”</p><p>“I mean, sure,” Herc grins. “But again, you could just talk to him.”</p><p>“Ugh, you don’t get it.” Alex scowls.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><em>french fry:</em> okay do you remember the plan<br/>
<em>french fry:</em> i am rooting for you mon ami!!</p><p><em>jj:</em> laf idk<br/>
<em>jj:</em> what if it doesn’t wokr<br/>
<em>jj:</em> work</p><p><em>french fry:</em> it will i promise<br/>
<em>french fry:</em> trust me<br/>
<em>french fry:</em> i am french<br/>
<em>french fry:</em> we are masters of seduction</p><p><em>jj:</em> thats not how it works but whatever<br/>
<em>jj:</em> gotta go i can see him</p><p><em>french fry:</em> good luck!! text me later</p><p>-</p><p><em>french fry:</em> ok he’s on his way<br/>
<em>french fry:</em> is petit lion’s plan in action?</p><p><em>hunkules:</em> yeah<br/>
<em>hunkules:</em> he explained it all to me earlier<br/>
<em>hunkules:</em> its fucking ridiculous lol</p><p><em>french fry:</em> i am so excited for our friends!!</p><p><em>hunkules:</em> they’re idiots<br/>
<em>hunkules:</em> but they’re our idiots</p><p><em>french fry:</em> i am very glad you decided to just talk to me instead of doing something like this<br/>
<em>french fry:</em> :)</p><p><em>hunkules:</em> me too.</p><p><em>french fry:</em> &lt;3</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>talk to me on tumblr @cherrydykes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. This Is Nice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sexual content in this chapter (aka @ any of my irl friends reading this: pls don't lol)<br/>also quick disclaimer: i'm a lesbian idk how dicks work</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex takes a deep breath. “Ma’am, look, I-”</p>
<p>“Don’t you take that tone with me, young man!” an older woman stands in front of the counter, arms folded. “All I want is a panini and a coffee, how hard is that to understand?”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry ma’am, I can make you a coffee but we’re all out of paninis for today, I’m afraid. I can offer you a grilled sandwich instead?” Alex’s patience is wearing thin. </p>
<p>“How can you be out of paninis? Just make one for me!” she insists, and Alex rubs his forehead wearily.</p>
<p>“Ma’am, we’re all out of ciabatta, which is a requirement for a panini.”</p>
<p>“There’s bread right there!” she tells him, pointing at the last slices of bread on the counter behind him.</p>
<p>“Yes, but that’s sliced bread, for the sandwiches, not ciabatta. I can make you a sandwich?”</p>
<p>“No, I want a panini!”</p>
<p>“How about I make a panini with sliced bread instead, would that be okay?”</p>
<p>“See, I knew you could make it. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” she sniffs indignantly, and the moment Alex’s back is turned he mouths every expletive he can think of.</p>
<p>He makes a normal grilled sandwich and gives it to her along with the coffee, an extremely forced smile on his face. “There you go, ma’am. Have a <em>wonderful</em> day.”</p>
<p>She’s the last person in the shop and as soon as she’s gone Alex vaults over the counter to change the sign from ‘OPEN’ to ‘CLOSED’. “Holy fucking shit, I hate customer service.” he says aloud into the empty shop. “Why the fuck do I do this job? Oh right, because the pay is pretty good, I like Washington, my friends work here, and John works here, and- shit! John!”</p>
<p>John is going to be there any minute to walk home with him, he realises, and that means that he’s going to officially start putting his plan into action any minute. Pulling his hair into a bun and fanning himself with one hand, he contemplates if it really is that warm or if he’s just nervous. </p>
<p>Both. Definitely both.</p>
<p>The bell above the door chimes and John walks through. Wearing jeans and a well fitting tee, Alex lets his eyes rake up and down his body before smiling at John.</p>
<p>“Hey.”</p>
<p>“Hi.”</p>
<p>“You look good. Did you get changed or something?” Alex asks, smirking when John blushes.</p>
<p>“Uh, no, this is what I was wearing this morning. But, thanks?” he phrases it like a question. Shit. This isn’t starting well. Okay, step four is be hot. Alex can do that. It’ll be easier back at John’s apartment, though. Maybe the plan starts there.</p>
<p>They chat as they walk, and Alex makes sure to let his hand brush against John’s every so often, ‘accidentally’, of course. John meanwhile, is thinking back to what Lafayette had told him.</p>
<p>
  <em>“To seduce him, you have to show him he wants you!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“How the hell do I do that, Laf?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Touch him by accident, but not too much. Be casual about it. Look good - I know you do already, no need to get offended - put effort into it. Show off. Be more obvious when you flirt. Do things for him, little things.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I already do that.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Do it more! But most importantly, mon ami; make him feel wanted. Make him feel loved.”</em>
</p>
<p>When they reach John’s apartment, they stand in the doorway for a moment, each contemplating what part of their plan to enact next.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna go take a shower, if that’s okay?” Alex decides, walking over to the bathroom. He almost adds that John should feel free to join him, but decides against it, not wanting to scare him off.</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure. I’ll just, uh,” John gestures around the room. “Hang out.”</p>
<p>Alex grins and heads into the bathroom. As soon as he’s gone, John cringes. ‘Hang out’? What the hell was that? That’s not seductive, or hot, or flirty! He groans quietly. This might be harder than he thought. What else can he do? Looking around the studio, his eyes come to rest on the stove in the kitchen. He could cook something. But what if Alex doesn’t like his cooking? Hm.</p>
<p>His eyes continue looking around the kitchen though, and they come to a stop on a takeout menu on the counter. Perfect.</p>
<p>By the time Alex comes out of the shower, John has placed an order of both his favourite and Alex’s favourite pizzas and is sitting on the couch. He hears the bathroom door open, and turns to look at Alex.</p>
<p>“Hey, I ord….” his voice trails off as he takes in the sight before him. Alex has a hand towel wrapped around his waist, barely long or wide enough to cover his crotch (or his ass. Alex was very pleased with this idea.). The rest of his body is on display, rivulets of water trickling down his chest from his wet hair.</p>
<p>“I, um, forgot to take my towel. Sorry!” He grins cheekily at John, who’s still staring, speechless.</p>
<p>“Oh! Don’t, uh, don’t worry about it.” John manages to squeak out, trying to sound unaffected and failing.</p>
<p>“I’m just gonna…” Alex points in the direction of his suitcase of clothes.</p>
<p>“Mhmm,” John, remembering Laf’s advice, runs his eyes over Alex’s body, pausing briefly on the towel, and coming to rest on his face. “Why the rush?”</p>
<p>Alex lets out a squeak at that, almost dropping the towel in surprise. Emboldened by his reaction, John smiles at him and winks before turning back around. Very glad that John has turned around and can’t see his bright red face, Alex gets dressed. He’d thought about his outfit choice earlier, opting for a nice tee Herc had given him once (it made him look a little less scrawny than he was) and grey sweatpants, the kind that leaves little to the imagination. </p>
<p>He wanders over to the couch, flopping down dramatically and letting his head fall into John’s lap. He looks at Alex with amusement but definitely not disgust, which Alex takes as a win.</p>
<p>“D’you wanna watch something?” John asks, remote in one hand. With the other he nonchalantly starts playing with Alex’s hair, letting his fingers weave through the damp strands and lightly scratching his scalp. Alex’s reaction is almost instantaneous. His eyes flutter shut and his mouth opens in a soft ‘oh’, and he cranes his neck slightly, pushing his head further into John’s hand. </p>
<p>John chuckles softly. “So? What d’you want to watch?”</p>
<p>Alex, embarrassed by his response to John’s fingers in his hair, tries to get himself under control. “Uh, I don’t mind. A movie?”</p>
<p>Humming in agreement, John picks out some random movie (Alex is much too focused on the feeling on his scalp, and John honestly couldn’t care less what he chooses and barely looks at the screen as he does so) and continues to play idly with Alex’s hair. Trying to remember the other steps to his plan, Alex vaguely recalls something about being touchy. He shifts so that he’s lying on his side, head still in John’s lap, and begins ‘absentmindedly’ running his fingertips lightly on John’s leg, tracing out shapes and squiggles. </p>
<p>This is nice, Alex decides.</p>
<p>This is nice, but it isn’t going fast enough.</p>
<p>Alex is an impatient person. He doesn’t like admitting that about himself, but it’s true and he knows it. He’s the kind of person to rush into something, rather than take the time to make sure it’s done the right way (who decides what the right way is anyway, Alex often wonders). Being confident in his abilities to get things right mixed with being impatient doesn’t always make for the best decisions but here he is.</p>
<p>“You know,” Alex says, head still on John’s lap. “I meant what I said about the kiss.”</p>
<p>“Which part?” John asks, keeping his voice neutral.</p>
<p>“Top ten. And that I really didn’t mind doing it.” </p>
<p>“Oh?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Alex waits with bated breath for John’s response, his fingers stilling on John’s leg.</p>
<p>“What would a kiss have to be like to make it to the top five?” John asks casually.</p>
<p>Alex sits up, moving so he’s sitting facing John. Studying the other’s face, trying to gauge how serious he was being, Alex takes a breath. John bites his lip, eyes flicking from Alex’s eyes to his mouth and back again.</p>
<p>“A top five kiss? Why, John,” letting out a breathy laugh, Alex moves just a tiny bit closer. “I wouldn’t know how to describe it.”</p>
<p>“No big, fancy words, Alexander?” John murmurs. “You could show me instead.”</p>
<p>“That’s not a bad idea.” </p>
<p>They stare at each other for a beat in silence, each daring the other to make the first move. And then suddenly, like a dam burst, they surge forward at the same time, lips meeting. The kiss is soft and firm at the same time, all push and pull. It’s like coming home, Alex thinks, and barely has time to think about the cheesiness of that statement before John’s hand tangles in his hair and tugs lightly.</p>
<p>Alex gasps into John’s mouth and John takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into the smaller man’s mouth, smiling when Alex moans quietly. “That’s cheating.” Alex says into the kiss, and he feels John chuckle.</p>
<p>“You like it.”</p>
<p>“Mmh.” Putting a hand on the back of John’s neck, he tries to pull him closer, and John pushes Alex so he’s lying on his back on the couch, John above him, kissing fervently the entire time. </p>
<p>“Fuck, J, I-” Alex moans as John begins placing kisses along his jaw and neck, stopping every so often to suck and bite at the skin there. He hooks one leg around John’s waist, wanting to be as close as possible to him. </p>
<p>The doorbell rings, and John pulls away, cursing under his breath. “One sec.”</p>
<p>Alex watches in confusion as John goes to the door and leaves. A minute later he’s back, pizzas in hand.</p>
<p>“I, uh, ordered pizza. I got your favourite,” he holds them up, looking sheepish. “If I’d known we’d be, um, interrupted,  I would have waited.”</p>
<p>Alex grins. “Uh-huh.”</p>
<p>John hands him the box with his in, and Alex lets out a gasp. “You got my favourite!”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I just said that!”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but you actually did! Like, with my weird extras! And I didn’t even have to write them down for you.” Alex looks at John with a soft smile on his face.</p>
<p>“Well, yeah,” John shrugs, trying to act nonchalant. “I pay attention to you, Alexander.”</p>
<p>Alex grins, blushing, and puts the pizza box down on the coffee table. John watches in confusion until Alex pulls his face closer and kisses him softly, sweetly.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Alex whispers, and gives him another quick kiss. Reluctantly pulling himself back, he takes a slice of pizza.</p>
<p>John beams at him and grabs his free hand, squeezing it for a second before letting go again. </p>
<p>The TV stays on in the background as they eat and their voices are soft as they talk. Outside, night falls, and the flickering street lights cast shadows across the apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pizza boxes lay on the ground, discarded and forgotten as the two men lie on the couch, lazily making out. John revels in the way Alex kisses, needy and yearning, his hands holding onto John wherever he can get a grip, pulling him impossibly close. </p>
<p>John kisses exactly how Alex had imagined, had hoped he might; perfectly. <em>It’s actually kind of infuriating, how good John is at this,</em> Alex thinks, before John’s broad hand on his hip distracts him. His thumb slips under Alex’s worn tee, brushing the bare skin underneath. John’s other hand, warm and calloused, rests in Alex’s hair, alternating between tangling his fingers in the dark strands and tugging lightly, smiling when Alex responds with a content hum, his body arching into the sensation. </p>
<p>Kissing John, Alex decides when he has a brief moment to collect his thoughts, kissing John is like taking that first sip of cold water on a hot day. Kissing John is like holding a sparkler, it’s a thrill, safe but somehow exhilarating, the closer the sparks got to your hand. Kissing John makes Alex feel like kindling in a fire, popping and crackling as he’s set alight.</p>
<p>John lets out a moan as Alex slots a leg between his own, hips jerking involuntarily as his dick brushes against Alex’s. After another heady kiss, John reluctantly pulls back, running a hand through his hair.</p>
<p>Alex whines at the loss but drinks in the picture before him happily. John looks beautiful, his lips glossy and red, pupils blown, cheeks flushed, hair a mess. Even in the semi darkness of night (night in New York was never dark, not like in Nevis), Alex can see John’s freckles and he reaches out to trace them, like constellations in the night sky.</p>
<p>Leaning into Alex’s touch, John’s eyes flutter shut for a brief moment before pulling away again and grinning. “You’re distracting me,” he accuses, but there’s no bite to his statement, only warmth. “As much as I’m enjoying this - and believe me, Alexander, I really, really am enjoying this - we should go to bed. You have class in the morning.”</p>
<p>Alex pouts and sits up, draping his arms on John’s shoulders. “I’ve gone to class on no sleep before, J, I think I can handle it.”</p>
<p>John kisses the pout off Alex’s face, humming into the kiss. Alex sighs dramatically as John pulls away and John folds his arms, trying to look stern and failing. “Alexander!” he admonishes as Alex starts giggling, arms still on his shoulders, hands playing with John’s hair.</p>
<p>“Sorry, you just,” Alex presses a quick kiss against the corner of John’s mouth, not trusting himself to not get carried away again. “You just look very cute.”</p>
<p>“Ugh,” John rolls his eyes fondly, and stands up with a smile. “Come on. Bed.”</p>
<p>Alex stifles a laugh as he watches John try to rearrange his boner, knowing that he himself is in a similar predicament. “I can help you with that,” he suggests slyly, looking up at John through his lashes.</p>
<p>His eyes flickering between Alex and the bed, John bites his lip.<em> Fuck it,</em> he decides. “Fuck, yeah, okay. But let’s get into bed anyway, it’s comfier.”</p>
<p>Grinning, Alex jumps up and winks as he makes his way to the bed. “Trust me J, when I get my hands on you, you won’t even be able to think about where you are.”</p>
<p>“Fuck,” John mutters, Alex’s words going straight to his dick. “Take your shirt off.” he instructs him as he stands in front of him, pulling his own off.</p>
<p>“Gladly.”</p>
<p>Tugging gently on the waistband of John’s sweatpants, Alex whines, pouting. Laughing, John pushes him back onto the bed with a light shove to his shoulder. He nudges Alex’s legs apart and climbs onto the bed between them, leaning over Alex, kissing his mouth, his jaw, his neck, his chest. He gently, teasingly bites a nipple, and Alex can feel him smile against his skin when it elicits a sharp gasp and a tightening of his hand in John’s hair.</p>
<p>Alex tugs him up to eye level, relishing in the sight for a moment, giving him a heated kiss before flipping the two of them so John is lying on his back and Alex is on top. John quirks an eyebrow at him, not used to being manhandled, but he’s quickly distracted when Alex attaches his lips to John’s neck, kissing, biting, sucking. John tries to hold back a moan as Alex leaves marks over his body, claiming him, and fails, the sound coming from deep within his chest. </p>
<p>He grinds up against Alex, heat pooling in his stomach, and Alex grins against his skin. Not letting up his worship of John’s neck and chest, he reaches down a hand and casually begins palming John’s dick through his sweatpants, and John lets out a strained ‘Fuck!’ and pulls Alex back in for a kiss.</p>
<p>Alex tugs down John’s pants just enough that his cock springs free, hard and already leaking, and John can’t help but let out an embarrassingly loud moan when Alex wraps his hand around his length, thumb stroking the tip, almost idly playing with the precum gathered there. John’s head falls back and he ruts against Alex’s hand, desperate for friction, movement, anything.</p>
<p>As Alex begins stroking him, slow but firm, and is met with a barrage of “Fuck, Alexander, god, you feel so good, fuck, please, Alex, I need-” tumbling from John’s mouth. The only words he can seem to remember are curses and Alex’s name and he’s lost in the sensation of Alex’s hand on his cock, Alex’s body on his, Alex’s mouth on his neck, biting, sucking, teasing.</p>
<p>He laces a hand in Alex’s hair, tugging, trying to get some leverage against the onslaught of pleasure. Alex whimpers at the feeling and speeds up his hand on John’s dick, alternating between stroking and twisting, squeezing lightly every so often. John pulls him into a kiss, heated and forceful as he gets closer to release and Alex does this thing with his hand and John comes harder than he has in a while, almost sees stars.</p>
<p>Alex pulls away languidly and sits up, a smug smile on his face, John’s cum on his hand, and when he lifts his hand to his mouth and licks it off, John’s spent dick gives an interested twitch. </p>
<p>“Fuck, Alexander, that was…” John trails off, still unable to form coherent sentences, and Alex grins at him. “Wait, what about you?” he gestures to Alex’s hard-on, straining against the thin material of his sweatpants, a damp patch already visible.</p>
<p>“Oh, I can deal with it myself, it’s okay. I’m pretty close anyway.” Alex shrugs with a lopsided smile and goes to jerk himself off, and is stopped by John’s hand on his wrist.</p>
<p>“Let me,” he says, his voice low, and Alex nods happily as John sits up to join him. When John kisses him he accepts, his mouth wanting, and when John’s hand pulls his dick out of his pants he moans into the kiss, his body arching in response. John is rougher than Alex but there’s a certain softness to it, and as his hand moves quickly up and down Alex’s length his other hand rests on Alex’s cheek, reverent. </p>
<p>Alex pulls away when he feels he’s close, resting his forehead against Johns. His mouth now free, John starts a steady stream of praise and dirty talk, “You look so good, baby, so pretty and perfect, fuck, love the feeling of your cock in my hand, you’re so pretty, Alex, so fucking hot, you gonna come for me, baby? Come on, Alexander, come for me,” and all he can do is let out a cry as John strokes him to completion, head tipping back, eyes shut. He stays there for a moment, panting a little, mind still hazy as he basks in the afterglow.</p>
<p>He’s dragged back to this plane of reality when he feels a warm, damp cloth against his stomach, and he looks down to see John cleaning the mess off of him, slow and gentle. “Goddam, J,” he breathes out, a smile on his face as he leans down and kisses John softly. “That was pretty fucking good. Definitely in the top five.” </p>
<p>John rolls his eyes and flicks one of Alex’s nipples, and Alex squeaks and jumps back and John laughs, not unkindly. “I think you need new pants,” he informs him, and Alex pouts but gets up anyway.</p>
<p>A few minutes later they’re both lying in bed, half under the covers and half out, both just wearing boxers. It’s too warm to cuddle the way Alex likes to after sex, so they settle for Alex holding John’s outstretched hand to his face, alternating between kissing his fingertips and palm softly, and just letting John stroke his cheek, and whenever his thumb brushes over Alex’s lips he gives it a quick kiss.</p>
<p>It’s cheesy and sweet and impossibly tender, and Alex tries to fight his growing instinct of fleeing, willing himself to allow this to happen, telling himself John won’t leave like everyone else did.</p>
<p>As they fall asleep, John’s hand still on Alex’s cheek, Alex realises that in the week he’s been living and sleeping with John, he’s slept better than he has in months, maybe even years.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Alex wakes up the next morning, the bed beside him is empty.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>oops sorry! <br/>talk to me on tumblr @cherrydykes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. My Hero</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fuCK i'm so sorry about how late this is. i have a lot of stuff going on irl rn and i haven't written in literally 2 weeks :( i'm going to be taking a couple weeks off to deal with some personal stuff! i'll upload the next chapter October 8th. have a longish chapter to make up for it :) hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alex sits up, looking at the empty half of the bed in confusion. It’s warm, he realises as he places a hand on the bedsheet. He looks around the apartment, wondering where John is, and he checks the time on his phone. 6:18AM, early, earlier than either of them needed to be awake. Alex’s lecture is at 8, he doesn’t need to be up until 7, and John has the morning off. </p><p>Fuck. </p><p>Did John leave him? Did Alex do something wrong? His mind starts racing, flooding with explanations and possibilities, none of them good, and he fights the panic rising in his chest.</p><p>He gets up and showers, the water hot, numbing him, When he looks in the mirror he realises that his chest and neck are littered with bruises and faint bite marks from the night before, and he feels sick when he thinks about John marking him up just to leave him. </p><p>He gets dressed. It’s 6:32AM now, which means John has been gone for at least 20 minutes. Alex can’t bring himself to text John, a voice in the back of his head telling him that this is probably normal for John, that it didn’t mean anything, that Alex read too much into it, that if he messages John asking where he is, John will laugh at him and ask why he expected him to stay.</p><p>Alex is sitting on the couch, brow furrowed as he types away at an essay, when a noise at the door makes him look up. The door opens and John is there, holding two coffees and a paper bag with some bakery logo on it.</p><p>He looks at John, standing there, hair tied in a messy bun, a couple of hickeys peeking out from the neck of his shirt, a look of surprise on his face, and Alex lets out a small ‘oh’.</p><p>“I thought you left.” He says, his voice small.</p><p>“Ha, you wish,” John grins, but his smile falters when he sees the look on Alex’s face. “I just went to get breakfast. I wanted to surprise you, I didn’t think you’d wake up yet. I’m back now.”</p><p>Alex nods wordlessly, feeling stupid, but then John walks over, places the coffee and the paper bag on the table, and pulls Alex in for a kiss. He responds hungrily, is almost embarrassed at how needy he is but doesn’t find it in himself to care, not when John’s warm hands are on his back and in his hair, pulling him closer.</p><p>They break apart and John smiles again, his face lighting up the room, and Alex smiles with him. “What’d you get me, then?” Alex asks, nodding towards the bag. </p><p>John chuckles and pulls out some pastries. “Quesitos,” he explains. “My mom used to make them sometimes when I was a kid. There’s a bakery not too far from here that does them. Oh, and coffee.” handing Alex the cup and a pastry, he watches nervously as Alex takes a bite.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Alex moans around a mouthful of pastry and cream cheese. “Okay, I know I said I’m not a morning person, but you might have converted me.” letting out a laugh, John starts eating his as well, relieved that Alex likes it. </p><p>He remembers sitting at their big wooden table in the kitchen watching his mom roll the dough, then fold it, and roll it again, and fold it again, over and over until she deemed it ready. He never knew how she knew it was ready, never got a chance to ask her. She’d look at him with a twinkle in her eye and ask if they should use plain cream cheese or sweetened, and she’d laugh when he’d wrinkle his nose and exclaim <em>‘Sweetened, mom!’</em> She stopped making them when she got sick, and John never thought to ask for the recipe until it was too late. He’s tried a couple online, but they never turn out quite right. The ones from the bakery are the closest he’s found.</p><p>Alex nudges him, knocking his knee against John’s. “Where’d you go?” he asks, voice soft.</p><p>“Thinking about my mom,” John answers and leaves it at that. “You have cream cheese on your cheek.” he wipes it away with his thumb and as he pulls his hand back, Alex’s tongue darts out, licking the cream cheese off John’s thumb.</p><p>“Yum.” Alex grins at him and John rolls his eyes, trying to act like that didn’t make his heart damn near skip a beat.</p><p>“How long till you have to leave for class?” He asks, already pulling Alex closer.</p><p>“Long enough.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Eliza raises an eyebrow at Alex as he tries to sneak into the lecture hall, and when he plops down in the seat next to her she pushes her notes in his direction so he can copy down what he’s missed.</p><p>“Nice of you to join us, Hamilton.” the lecturer chides him and Alex grins sheepishly and tries to pay attention to the rest of the lecture. His thoughts wander to John, and when the lecture is over Eliza pulls him to the side.</p><p>“What’s going on?” she demands, hands on her hips. “You haven’t been this quiet in a lecture in, well, ever, I think? Something’s happened.” </p><p>“Hmm,” Alex hums, debating whether or not to tell her about him and John. “Okay, but don’t tell anyone, not until I’ve talked to John, okay?”</p><p>Eliza’s face breaks into a grin. “I knew it! Ha! I knew there was something going on between you two.” a smug look settles over her and she crosses her arms, waiting.</p><p>“To be fair, something only really started going on last night,” he points out, and then stops. “No, wait, I kissed him a week ago. Okay, so something only started going on a week ago!”</p><p>They start walking across campus as he tells her what happened between him and John (minus a few of the more… explicit details). “I mean, I thought he was cute as soon as I met him, really. And then we started texting, and hanging out more, and he’s just so easy to be around, you know? Like, I feel completely at peace with him. And then all the stuff with my apartment happened, and he said I could live at his place for a while, and then the next day I woke up to him having a panic attack,” and Alex shoots Eliza a look, his eyes dark. “Don’t tell anyone about that. That’s his business, not ours.” </p><p>“Yeah, no fucking shit, Alex,” she tells him, hitting his arm. “Who do you think I am? Jeez.”</p><p>He shrugs and continues. “So, he was having this panic attack, and I didn’t know what to do because he couldn’t seem to hear me so I kissed him and it worked but then I was convinced he didn’t like me because nothing ever came from it? And, oh my god, Eliza, it was torture, living with him and not being able to kiss him and touch him and just, ugh. So I made a plan to seduce him.”</p><p>Eliza snorts and Alex gives her a hurt look. “Hey!”</p><p>“Sorry, but I remember you trying to seduce me and how well that worked out.” she grins, and Alex pouts.</p><p>“That wasn’t my fault! I didn’t know you were gay!”</p><p>“Mmhmm.”</p><p>“Anyway,” Alex says pointedly, glaring at her. “I made a plan. I put the plan into action yesterday. The plan was going well. But then I decided it was taking too long so I brought up the kiss and then he was being all flirty and suggestive, honestly, it was kinda incredible. Like something out of a story. Anyway, then we kissed.”</p><p>Eliza smacks his arm and he whirls around to look at her, grinning. “Alex!” she squeals. “I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me about this! Oh my god. That’s so cute.”</p><p>He just nods, still grinning, a little embarrassed at how happy he feels right now.</p><p>“So, what does this mean? Are you two dating?” she asks, looping her arm through his and continuing to walk.</p><p>“Oh, um, I don’t know,” Alex admits, frowning slightly. “We were kinda distracted and didn’t get a chance to talk about it.” </p><p>“Nice,” Eliza winks at him when he says they were distracted. “I bet you were. I’m sure you’ll be able to talk about it soon. Don’t you have a shift later?”<br/>
He checks the time and nods. “Yeah, now, actually. Well, twenty minutes, but I should start heading there. You wanna walk with me?”</p><p>“Sure,” she says, smiling. Alex chatters away about John, and work, and school, and Eliza feels a flicker of concern in her gut. She knows Alex, knows him well. She knows that he has a tendency to bolt at the first sign of happiness and she doesn’t blame him. He's scared of losing the things and people he loves, like he has so many times before. She hopes for both him and John that things are different this time.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>John sees Alex and Eliza approaching Liberty Coffee through the windows and smiles when he sees how animatedly Alex is talking, gesturing widely, almost hitting a small child in the face. He chuckles as Alex winces and calls out ‘Sorry!’ to the offended mother, and when Alex oftens the door to the coffee shop, John is momentarily stunned by how gorgeous Alex is. His hair is tied up in a messy bun, he’s not wearing anything special, but the way he smiles when he sees John lights up the room.</p><p>Eliza comes in as well, and John greets the two of them with a smile and a wave. </p><p>“Hey, J.” Alex says, a hint of anxiousness in his voice. He wavers for a moment, wanting to go to John and kiss him, unsure if that’s what John wants, painfully aware that they haven’t spoken about what this is.</p><p>When Alex comes behind the counter and carefully puts his bag down, he turns to find John standing right in front of him. “Hey, Alexander,” John says quietly. “Is this okay?” he asks as he casually puts a hand on Alex’s waist.</p><p>“Definitely,” Alex nods, and reaches a hand up to pull John into a kiss. It’s over far too quickly, and he’s mourning the loss of contact when a pointed cough gets his attention. Looking up, he sees Hercules standing in the doorway to the kitchen, arms folded.</p><p>“You gonna explain that?” </p><p>“When you explain what’s going on between you and Lafayette.” Alex tells him cheekily, and laughs when Hercules goes pink and retreats to the kitchen, muttering under his breath. John watches with amusement as he makes a drink for Eliza and hands it to her with a smile.</p><p>“How's things with that g-” he starts to ask but stops when her eyes widen dramatically and she shakes her head. “Oh. Uh, how’s things with your sisters?”</p><p>“Peggy’s good, she has a date with that guy I was telling you about,” she says, sipping her bright pink drink. “Oh man, what’s in this? It’s good. Oh, and Angelica is also good, not really much news from her end either. She’s moving in with her boyfriend soon, so she’s been doing a lot of planning and packing, stuff like that.”</p><p>John nods. He doesn’t have much to do with the sisters aside from Eliza, who he’s become good friends with, but it’s still nice to hear they’re doing well.</p><p>“Ooh,” she exclaims, looking at her phone and then up at him and Alex. “Do you guys want to come out with us tomorrow? Peggy just texted, she wants to go to some club she heard about. Please? As much as I love my sisters, it’ll be more fun if you guys are there. That includes you, Hercules!” she calls back to the kitchen. “Laf already said yes on your behalf!”</p><p>They hear a groan from the kitchen, and Alex turns to look at John. “What do you think?”</p><p>“I’m in if you are?” </p><p>“We’re in,” Alex tells Eliza, beaming.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Peggy says she’ll meet us here at closing and then come back to my place,” John tells Alex, looking at his phone. “How long d’you think it’ll take? You know her better than I do.”</p><p>Alex snorts, barely looking up from his laptop, where one of his many essays is open. “Yeah, but I don’t know jack shit about clothes. Didn’t Herc and Laf already get their measurements done?” Still looking at his laptop, he turns his head to call through to the kitchen, “Yo, Laf, how long did your measurements take?”</p><p>“Well, the measuring alone took only 15 minutes or so,” Lafayette muses, hand on his chin. “But, of course, Peggy stayed for a few hours! We had a good time, drinking and laughing.” he sighs happily. </p><p>“Oh crap, do we have to do that too?” Alex looks up at John, panic evident on his face. “I mean, I love Peggy, but I really really have to finish this essay. And start the other one.”</p><p>Cocking his head, John gives Alex a bemused look. “Are those the essays that aren’t due for another three months?”</p><p>“Yes. What’s your point?”</p><p>John just chuckles. “I think it’ll be okay. It’s gonna be late, anyway.”</p><p>Not looking particularly convinced, Alex wrinkles his nose but goes back to typing. Realising something, he stops and looks at Lafayette, beady eyed. “Wait, why didn’t we all just get measured at the same time? Surely that’d be easier for her as well?”</p><p>“Well, mon ami, I assume she didn’t want to deal with two couples at once.” Laf smirks, and his smile widens when they hear Hercules call out an exasperated ‘Laf!’.</p><p>“HA!” Alex jumps up, essay momentarily forgotten. “I fucking knew it! When were you gonna tell us, huh?”</p><p>Lafayette raises an eyebrow, looking pointedly at how Alex was standing next to John, John’s hand idly playing with Alex’s hair. “Oh, I was not hiding it. It is not my fault if you are too busy with your own relationship to notice that of your friends.”</p><p>John’s face burns at the mention of their ‘relationship’, the word a reminder that he and Alex still haven’t talked about what this actually is between them. Alex’s face drops, and he kicks himself mentally when he realises how much he’s been neglecting his best friends in favour of pining over John.</p><p>“Shit, Laf, I’m sorry. I really do want to hear about this, okay?” Feeling extremely guilty, Alex offers Lafayette a small smile. </p><p>Waving a hand, Laf shrugs but Alex can tell that he’s grateful for the apology. “You will, mon ami, in due time. Right now we have customers.” he nods to the counter, and both John and Alex jump up and start apologising and serving the annoyed customer.</p><p>Lafayette rolls his eyes fondly and goes back into the kitchen, where Hercules is scrolling through his phone as he waits for the muffins to finish baking. He barely looks up when Laf sidles into the room, and Laf feels a twinge of guilt.</p><p>He drapes his arms loosely around his boyfriend's neck, standing on his toes to press a kiss against the underside of his jaw. Hercules sighs, putting his phone away and folding his arms.</p><p>“I told you I didn’t want you announcing our relationship to everyone, Laf.” he says, still not giving in to Laf’s gentle enticements.</p><p>Lafayette takes a step back and Hercules can see the genuine distress on his face. “Mon cher, I am sorry, I just,” he sighs and shrugs, giving Herc a small smile. “I am just so very happy that you like me also, and I want to show off. I mean, look at you, of course I want to show off that someone as attractive as you likes me.”</p><p>Hercules can feel himself soften at Laf’s words, and he rolls his eyes and holds out his arms to Laf. “I think it’s the other way around, babe. I’m the one showing you off.”</p><p>Moving into the bigger man’s arms, Lafayette sighs happily, and when Hercules cradles his face in his big, strong hands and kisses him, Laf feels weak in the knees.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Daaaamn,” Peggy whistles as she looks around the studio apartment. “This place is nice.”</p><p>“Thanks,” John smiles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, how do we…?”</p><p>“Oh,” dropping her bag and rummaging around inside, Peggy pulls out a notebook and measuring tape. “Okay, so I need you both to strip to your underwear, and then I’ll take your measurements and that’s pretty much it.”</p><p>Alex shoots John a look when Peggy says they need to strip down, and John winks at him, seeming utterly confident. “Um, to our underwear?” Alex asks, looking mildly panicked.</p><p>“Yep!” Peggy says, popping the ‘p’. “Chill, Alex. It’s not a big deal.”</p><p>Nodding, Alex is absolutely not convinced. He doesn’t like his body, it’s skinny and damaged from the years of fending for himself as a young teen, and he has scars he doesn’t want to talk about. He looks over to John and sees that he’s already taken off his shirt, and Alex bitterly thinks to himself that it’s unfair, of course John doesn’t have a problem, he has the body of a god.</p><p>Peggy, sensing the tension, shoots John a pointed look and then flickers her eyes to Alex. “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom real quick, and then we can get started.”</p><p>John shows her where it is (although, it doesn’t take a genius to work out that the only other door in the apartment leads to the bathroom) and as soon as the door shuts behind her, he’s stood in front of Alex, hands on his shoulders, grounding him. </p><p>“J, I don’t, I don’t feel comfortable with this,” Alex tells him quietly. “It’s okay for you, your body is amazing, but I’m so scrawny and small and I don’t like people seeing my body.”</p><p>John strokes the side of his face and Alex leans into the touch. “You’re beautiful, baby. Okay? If you really don’t want to do this, that’s okay, Peggy will understand. But believe me when I say that you have nothing to worry about.” leaning down, he kisses Alex sweetly just before Peggy comes back out. </p><p>“We good?” Peggy asks, looking at still fully dressed Alex, who sighs one last time and nods.</p><p>Peggy starts taking John’s measurements as Alex takes his clothes off, and he stands for a moment when he’s done, arms covering his stomach and chest. </p><p>Peggy raises an eyebrow at the bruises and bitemarks on both of their chests. “Really couldn’t wait until after I had to see you both half-naked, huh?”</p><p>Alex grins, momentarily forgetting his vulnerability, and gestures to John. “I mean, look at him, Pegs! Would you be able to resist?”</p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“Oh,” Alex pouts. “Well, I couldn’t. Deal with it.”</p><p>Peggy rolls her eyes and keeps taking the measurements, and Alex finds himself surprisingly relaxed by the end of it. Sure, he’s still not totally comfortable, but the constant banter between the three of them helped distract him, and he’s even surprised when Peggy puts the measuring tape and notebook back in her bag.</p><p>“That’s it, I’m done now. You can get dressed again,” she informs them, pulling out her phone and typing something in. “Or not. I don’t care. I have to go, I’m meeting up with… somebody.”</p><p>“Oooh,” John smirks at her. “Is this somebo-”</p><p>“Zip it,” she silences him with a glare, but then her face softens. “I don’t want to jinx it. I like him, though, okay? That’s all you need to know.”</p><p>Alex, endlessly curious, opens his mouth to interrogate her but before he has a chance she waves goodbye and is out the door.</p><p>“Hmph,” he grumbles, crosses his arms. “I want details.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure you do.” John laughs as he starts getting dressed.</p><p>“Well, I- aw, why are you getting dressed?” he pouts and John grins, kissing the side of his mouth. “We might as well make the most of not having clothes on.”</p><p>“I think you’ll find that you’re the only one with no clothes on, Alexander,” John informs him and lightly pinches one of Alex’s nipples as if to prove it. “And you’re also the one who said you had sooo much work to do. And I actually also have work to do. “</p><p>Alex sighs but gets dressed. He works on his essays until John kisses the back of his neck and pulls him to bed, and Alex hums, content.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Alex is wearing black skinny jeans and a loose tee, and he’s already regretting it. “It’s so warm,” he complains, tugging on a lock of John’s hair. “Why did we agree to this?”</p><p>“Because it’s good to do fun things with our friends,” John tells him, rolling his eyes. “At least your outfit is loose, kinda. I’m gonna die.” he gestures to his own outfit, and Alex looks him up and down. He’s wearing skinny jeans as well, but they’re tighter than Alex’s (he notes, as he lets his eyes linger on John’s crotch for a good few seconds) and his shirt is fitted and shows off his muscles.</p><p>“You know,” Alex begins, lazily draping himself across John and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “We could just stay here.”</p><p>“Mmh, we could,” John agrees, meeting Alex’s lips in a heated kiss. He pulls away when he feels warmth starting to pool in his stomach, and smirks at Alex’s whine. “But we said we’d be there, so we will.”</p><p>Sighing dramatically, Alex throws his hands in the air. “Fine!”</p><p>“Come on, baby, it’ll be fun.” John tells him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before standing up and pulling Alex up with him. </p><p>“Hmph,” no real mirth behind his grumbles, Alex slides his shoes on and looks expectantly at John. “Let’s go, then.” </p><p>John shakes his head and puts his shoes on, deciding not to mention the fact that actually, he’s the one who’s been waiting for Alex to be ready.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not drunk enough for this,” Alex calls over the music as he looks out over the teeming dance floor. “I’m gonna go to the bar. You want anything?”</p><p>John nods, half distracted by the story Eliza is telling, and Alex rolls his eyes fondly and goes to the bar. When he returns ten minutes later, he hands John his drink (vodka coke, which Alex wrinkled his nose in disgust at) and sits down, demurely sipping his own fruity cocktail. </p><p>He’s happy to just sit for now, and when Eliza and Peggy convince Laf and Herc to come dance he watches them make their way through the throng of people dancing. John has his eyes on Alex, thoughts softened by the alcohol in his system, and he fidgets with his fingers to try and stop himself from putting his hands on Alex’s body the way he so badly wants to. </p><p>It’s loud and hot and sweaty but when John asks Alex if he wants to dance, Alex agrees and takes his hand happily. They find their friends on the dance floor and they start to dance, separately at first, Alex’s hips swaying to the music, John’s body moving in time with the beat. Alex dances with Eliza for a bit, laughing and having fun, but when he turns around he realises John isn’t there. His eyes scan the room, and he finds John at the bar, talking to a tall man with blond hair. Alex can’t see the man’s face but he can see John’s, can see him smiling, can see the blond guy handing him a slip of paper. </p><p>Alex turns away, back to Eliza, jealousy flaring up in his stomach. <em>John’s allowed to talk to other guys, flirt with them, get their numbers,</em> he tells himself, <em>you guys aren’t even dating, you’re not allowed to be jealous.</em> His eyes are hard and Eliza starts to ask him what’s wrong, but then she sees someone she knows and her face lights up, and she runs off in their direction, leaving Alex alone. <em>Great,</em> he thinks bitterly, wondering where the hell the rest of his friends went. </p><p>A quick glance around the room tells him Lafayette and Hercules are busy making out in their collective booth, Peggy is dancing with some guy who looks vaguely familiar, Angelica is nowhere to be seen, and John- no. Alex isn’t even going to look for John. </p><p>He falters for a second, hips stalling, but then someone is behind him, is dancing against him, and Alex honestly doesn’t even care who it is, just knows it’s not John and so he pushes back against the warm body behind him, the hands on his hips. He desperately tries to enjoy it, tries to relish the feeling, lose himself in it, but can’t. After a few more minutes of dancing, he pulls away from the stranger, ignoring the ‘Hey!’ called out after him, and goes back to their table.</p><p>John is sitting there, nursing a drink. He flashes Alex a smile but it looks forced, and when Alex smiles back it’s equally forced. He’s drunk and feeling confrontational and jealous and horny all at the same time. He wants to say something, ask about the guy at the bar, but then he sees Eliza and is distracted.</p><p>“Hey,” Alex leans over, nodding to where she’s standing near a wall, talking to a pretty girl with curly, dark brown hair. “Who’s Eliza talkin’ to?”</p><p>“Not sure, but-” he stops as the two girls start kissing, and turns to look at Alex with amusement on his face. “I’m willin’ to bet that that’s the girl she likes. The description matches up. Maria, I think.”</p><p>They briefly look back over, only to see them still making out. “Damn, ‘Liza,” Alex laughs. “Get it.”</p><p>John laughs with him, their unease momentarily forgotten. When Alex looks at him, though, he’s reminded of the tall blond man, and his laughter fades. Sensing the returned animosity, John takes a swig of his drink, before saying, “Looked like you were having your own fun out there as well.”</p><p>Alex studies his glass, running John’s words over in his mind. “Pfft. And what about you and mister tall, blond and…,” he gestures vaguely. “Tall?” </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“The guy at the bar? I saw him give you his number.”</p><p>Looking confused, John cocks his head slowly, his steady flow of drinks slightly impairing his ability to move quickly. “Ohhh, Lee? He’s an old friend, I worked with him at my last job! We wanted to catch up but he dropped his… his phone in a pool and lost my number.”</p><p>Alex, feeling stupid (and drunk, he remarks as he thinks about how slow everything seems to be moving), wrinkles his nose. “Who has a pool in New York?”</p><p>“That’s what I said!” John laughs and Alex laughs with him, only for his laughter to be cut short when a familiar purple suit slides into the booth next to him.</p><p>“Alexander, what a lovely surprise!”</p><p>“Jefferson, what the fuck are you doing here?”</p><p>“Oh, come now, Alexander. Don’t be like that,” Jefferson chides, looking impossibly smug at having a chance to annoy Alex outside of class. “Why, and Mr. Laurens is here too, how nice.”</p><p>John raises an eyebrow, taking in Jefferson’s shiny suit and gold-plated cane. “Bit overdressed, aren’t we?”</p><p>He grins as Alex lets out a surprised laugh, pleased with himself for being able to use the royal we in his state, and Jefferson’s eyes harden. He smoothly turns his attention back to Alex, and says, “So sweet, these little meet-cutes people have at work. I’ve thought about finding a job, myself, just for the people and the experience, but there’s really no need. After all,” he adds, shaking out his sleeve so that everyone can see the Rolex on his wrist. “It’s not like I need the extra money.”</p><p>The thinly veiled jab at Alex works. He starts to get up, not entirely sure of what he wants to do but damn it, he’s not going to just sit there and let him say something like that. But he doesn’t have a chance to say anything before John fist flies past him, and straight into Jefferson’s face.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>John sits on a bench a little away from the club, tenderly holding a hand to the side of his jaw. Alex paces in front of him, ranting, his speech still slurred.</p><p>“I can’t believe they kicked us out, it’s so fuckin’ unfair, Jefferson started it and he fuckin’ deserved that punch,” he stops for a minute, and looks at John. “You punched Jefferson for me! J! I can’t believe you punched him.”</p><p>John grins at him and winces at the pain in his jaw. “Well, yeah, he fuckin’ deserved it.”</p><p>“How’s your jaw? Is it bad? Is it okay?” Alex asks, sitting down next to John and softly putting a hand on his cheek. “He… he punched you back. That’s not nice. But you punched him first. My knight in shining armour.” he says, and dramatically leans across John’s lap, a hand on his forehead.</p><p>“Anything for you, babygirl.” John tells him, not entirely aware of his choice of words. </p><p>Beaming, Alex stands back up, holding a hand out to John. “Let’s go home, J. ‘M tired. Wanna cuddle in bed. ‘Nd kiss you.”</p><p>John takes his hand, still cradling his tender jaw with the other. “Oh yeah? What about that guy you were dancin’ with?” </p><p>“But, J, I was only dancin’ with him cuz I thought you were - I thought you were flirtin’ with that guy at the bar. Your friend.” Alex tells him, giggling a little as they walk hand in hand.</p><p>“Alexander!” John admonishes him, eyes wide but a smile on his face. “That’s not - that’s not the way to behave! You’re s’posed to talk to someone if that kinda thing happens.” </p><p>Alex sighs, feeling a little guilty. “Yeah. ‘M sorry.”</p><p>“It’s okay. I’m kinda flattered you were jealous, tbh,” saying each letter of ‘tbh’ individually, John smirks at Alex. “I was jealous when you were dancin’.”</p><p>Alex blushes, feeling it bloom in his chest and hiding his face in his hands. “What?” he manages to say, but John has already moved on.</p><p>They walk hand in hand all the way to John’s apartment, stopping every so often to kiss against a wall or lamppost. When they finally arrive, they’re both starting to sober up, but are still drunk enough to giggle when Alex falls over trying to take his shoes off. </p><p>When they’re changed, both just in sweatpants, too warm from alcohol and summer nights to wear a top, Alex stops John before he can get into bed. </p><p>“Wait, let me clean up your face.” he murmurs, pulling John to the kitchen and making him sit on the counter. John directs him to the first aid kit and Alex pulls out some disinfectant, some wipes, and a bandaid. </p><p>Standing between John’s legs, he gently dabs away the blood on his jaw, cleaning the cut left from Jefferson’s punch. John lets out a hiss at the pain, and Alex smiles at him. “You big baby,” he says, still cleaning. He wipes it a couple more times and then, satisfied with his work, places the bandaid over it. “There. All done.”</p><p>“You’re not allowed to call me a baby! I was being heroic.” John insists, voice slow and sleepy. </p><p>“My hero.” Alex bats his lashes at him and John rolls his eyes but pulls him close and kisses him anyway. Alex would have been perfectly content to stay there, kissing in John’s kitchen, for hours, but John pulls away just as Alex’s dick starts to perk up. He whines at the loss and John chuckles and kisses him again quickly before hopping down off the counter. </p><p>“C’mon, babygirl. Bed.” he says, and Alex wants to protest, suggest that they keep kissing, but a giant yawn stops him and he decides that, actually, maybe they should go to sleep. </p><p>They curl up under the covers, John only holding one of Alex’s hands at first until Alex whispers into the darkness “J? Can you hold me?”, and John wraps his arms around Alex and pulls him close, and Alex falls asleep feeling warm, and soft, and cared for.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading! talk to me on tumblr @cherrydykes</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Homecoming (Part 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm so sorry i never got round to uploadng this, i've had it sat in my docs literally since september (as well as the next two chapters). i might continue writing this but idk at the moment, due to uni kicking my ass. anyway if you're still reading, thank you!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Next time you see Lafayette, can you tell him to stop tagging me as whatever dog is in the background of his pictures on instagram?” Alex asks John, scrolling through his phone on a particularly quiet afternoon. “I don’t know how he does it, but literally every pic there’s some dog in the background and it’s always tagged as me. People are starting to comment to ask about Alexander the dog!”</p>
<p>“Why don’t you just ask him yourself?” </p>
<p>“Ugh, no. Then he’ll know it’s getting to me.” Alex explains.</p>
<p>“Won’t he know that if I ask?”</p>
<p>“Hmph,” John looks over to Alex, who’s pouting slightly as he scrolls, and stifles a laugh. “How do people even get instagram-famous, J? Why the fuck does Laf have 800k followers?”</p>
<p>“He’s french. And hot. And posts, like, every day.”</p>
<p>“I’m hot! And I can speak french!” Alex insists, looking somewhat put out.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but you haven’t posted anything in like, two years, Alexander- Wait, you speak french?” John looks at him in surprise.</p>
<p>“Oui, je parle francais. Ma mère m'a appris le français et l'espagnol quand j'étais enfant.” He says, looking smug.</p>
<p>“Huh. No sabía que hablabas español.” John says, a smirk on his face.</p>
<p>“Ya no hablo mucho, así que no soy tan bueno como solía ser.” </p>
<p>“Same,” John shrugs. “My mom spoke Spanish with us, but my dad never really learned. When she died we all kinda stopped speaking it.”</p>
<p>Alex nods thoughtfully. Suddenly, he picks up his phone and opens the camera. Aiming it at the two of them, he tries to get John’s attention. “J! Look this way. Be cute. Wait, you’re always cute.”</p>
<p>He manages to snap a picture just as John is looking at Alex with a goofy smile, blush adoring the tips of his ears and his cheeks. “What are you doing?” John asks quizzically.</p>
<p>“Instagram. Can I post this?” </p>
<p>John scoffs. “I didn’t think you cared about instagram. But sure, I guess.”</p>
<p>“I don’t, but maybe this’ll get Laf’s fans to stop asking about Hamilton the dog.”</p>
<p>It does not, and Lafayette is very pleased with himself when he starts tagging cats in the backgrounds of his pictures as John.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Burr walks into Liberty Coffee, looking ridiculously put together for 8am on a Monday morning, Alex can’t help but roll his eyes. </p>
<p>“I thought you coming here was a one off, Burr?”</p>
<p>“It was,” Burr sighs, already done with Alex’s shit. “But I need your help. Do you have a moment?”</p>
<p>“Uh, not really?” Alex gestures back towards the queue of people behind him. “You literally came in during morning rush hour. It’ll be quieter in an hour, probably.”</p>
<p>Burr nods and leaves wordlessly, and Alex mutters under his breath, “Fuckin’ weirdo. Didn’t even get a coffee.”</p>
<p>“What was that about?” John asks him, watching the man leave.</p>
<p>“Hell if I know.” Alex shrugs, and the two get back to serving coffee to tired office workers and college students.</p>
<p>When Burr walks back through the door exactly one hour later, Alex looks at him in surprise. “Didn’t think you’d actually come back.”</p>
<p>“Can we talk?” Burr asks, straight to the point.</p>
<p>“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Alex looks at John, who looks around the quiet coffee shop.</p>
<p>“I think I’ll be able to handle it.” he says dryly.</p>
<p>Alex leads Burr to the back room, deciding that’ll have to do. “So. What’s up?”</p>
<p>“Do you know a woman called Theodosia Prevost?” Burr asks, showing him a photo on his phone.</p>
<p>“No, can’t say I do. She’s pretty,” he comments, looking closer. “She your girlfriend?” Burr fidgets and Alex holds back a guffaw. “Damn, Burr! Didn’t know you had it in you. So what’s up with her, then?”</p>
<p>“She has a husband.”</p>
<p>“Ooh, Burr, you homewrecker.”</p>
<p>“Not yet. That’s where I need your help,” his eyes widen slightly as he realises what he’s said. “Not like that! Look, her husband, his name is Jacques Marcus Prevost. I need your help finding out some information about him. He’s a bad person, Hamilton. Theo is scared. You’re the closest thing I have to a journalist. I know you can find shit out about people, you’ve done it before.”</p>
<p>“So, what, you need me to find some dirt on him?” Alex raises an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“There is dirt. Theo just needs the proof. Look, I’ll send you the information I already have. Will you help me? Please? I’m desperate, Hamilton.”</p>
<p>Alex shrugs. “Okay, yeah, I’ll do it,” Burr looks surprised at the lack of resistance, but Alex knows what it’s like to be stuck living with someone bad. “I’m doing it for her, not you. Send me what you’ve got, I’ll contact you if I find anything, I guess.”</p>
<p>They walk back to the front of the shop, and before Burr leaves he turns and looks at Alex. “Thank you.” he says, full of sincerity, and John looks at the two of them in confusion.</p>
<p>As soon as he’s gone, John turns to Alex. “What’s going on?”</p>
<p>“I’ll explain when we’re back at yours.” he mutters, and John leaves it at that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re laying on John’s bed, lazily making out, when John’s phone rings. He reluctantly drags himself away from Alex, who pouts at the loss of contact, but when he sees the name on the phone his smile falls.</p>
<p>“Father?” his voice is guarded, and Alex sits up, alarm clear on his face.</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah, I- Yes, sir. Okay. Thank you. Bye, father.” After a few minutes, John hangs up. He stares blankly at the phone in his hand for a second, before Alex’s hand on his arm knocks him back into reality.</p>
<p>“J? What’s up?” </p>
<p>“That was my, uh, my dad,” John swallows. “He wants me to come home. Jemmy’s out of hospital and he thinks it’d be best for him if I’m there.”</p>
<p>There’s a thousand things Alex wants to say to that, but he settles for asking, “Are you going to go?”</p>
<p>John looks at him, and it feels like a punch to the gut. “I think so, I mean, yeah. I have to.”</p>
<p>“Why do you have to? Your dad is a dick, you don’t have to do shit that he tells you to.” Alex argues, unable to keep his mouth shut.</p>
<p>“He’s my dad, Alexander,” John says, voice small. “And I’m going for Jemmy, not for him.” Alex lays back down and stares at the ceiling, not trusting himself to not say something he knows he shouldn’t. John, biting his thumbnail, glances at him and sighs. “Did I ever tell you about the last time I saw him? My dad, I mean. Well, Jemmy too, I guess. I told my dad I was gay and he told me not to come back until I’d ‘come to my senses’.”</p>
<p>Alex scoffs. “Sure doesn’t seem like you’ve come to your senses, J.”</p>
<p>“Nah,” John smiles sadly, leaning down to kiss Alex quickly. “It sure doesn’t.”</p>
<p>“When are you supposed to leave?” </p>
<p>“In two days.”</p>
<p>“Fuck.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>They sit in silence for a minute, John desperately trying to work out if there’s any way he can go home without having to face his father. He comes to the conclusion that, maddeningly, there is not, and he sets about resigning himself to the fact that he will see his father in just under 48 hours. </p>
<p>Alex’s self-preservation instinct kicks in, and despite his concern for John and his situation, he can’t help but ask, “Um, do you want me to find somewhere else to stay whilst you’re gone?”</p>
<p>John’s head snaps up to look at him in surprise. “What? No, of course you can keep staying here, Alexander. Don’t worry about that, seriously. You’re always welcome here, even if I’m not home.”</p>
<p>“Oh, okay. Thanks,” Alex smiles at him in relief. Deciding to change the subject, he perks up a bit. “Hey, did I ever tell you what Burr wanted?”</p>
<p>“Ooh, no, what? Wait, I heard he was seeing someone, is that true?”</p>
<p>“Not fair, how’d you hear about it before me? Anyway,” Alex begins, dramatically widening his eyes. “Turns out he <em>is</em> seeing someone, a Theodosia Prevost, if that name means anything to you? But here’s the thing; she’s married!”</p>
<p>“No fucking way,” John exclaims. “As if Burr is the kind of guy who’d go after a married woman.”</p>
<p>“Apparently he is,” shrugging, Alex continues. “And that’s not all. Her husband is a total dick, so Burr’s asked me to dig up some info on him. Guess he remembers those pieces I wrote for the school paper where I uncovered that drug and test score scandal Greene College was having, a couple years ago?”</p>
<p>“Oh shit, I remember that! Didn’t, like, half the teachers get fired for that?”</p>
<p>“Twelve were fired and four went to jail,” Alex tells him smugly. “No one suspected little ol’ me was snooping around there, they all thought I was just some student or something. Anyway, Burr wants me to get dirt on this guy. Apparently he’s involved in some shady stuff. Look, he sent me some files he already had.”</p>
<p>John lets out a low whistle when Alex shows him a few newspaper clippings about offshore accounts and money laundering. “Damn. Have you found anything yet?”</p>
<p>“Nah,” he shakes his head. “Not yet, but I haven’t done that much research into it yet.”</p>
<p>Raising an eyebrow, John looks at him. “Don’t you also have coursework and the treasury work for Liberty to do? Make sure you pace yourself, Alexander. You don’t want to get burned out.”</p>
<p>Alex smiles fondly at him and leans forward to kiss him softly. When he pulls away John grabs his hand, squeezing it lightly. “I mean it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine.” Alex tells him, and John just rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>“Hmm,” he squints at Alex but decides that, ultimately, that’s a discussion for another day. His phone pings and Alex sees John close off when he looks at the screen. “My dad sent me the flight details,” he explains, face drawn. “It’s two days from now, the 23rd, at 10am.”</p>
<p>Looking at his own phone, Alex snorts. “So like, one and a half days.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>Far too aware that he really, really needs to be working on at least one of the many things he’s supposed to be doing, Alex kisses John again, deeper this time. There’s heat behind it, and when John lets out a throaty moan as Alex cups him over his sweatpants he can’t help but smile into the kiss, satisfied with the knowledge (and the evidence) that his distraction for John is working. </p>
<p>“Someone’s getting worked up.” Alex laughs breathily into the kiss as he lightly squeezes John’s hardening appendage, and he squeaks in surprise when John reaches up to pinch a nipple.</p>
<p>“Shut it, you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John awakens the next morning to an empty bed and the dried remains of last night on his chest. He grimaces and gets up to find Alex sitting at his kitchen table, furiously typing on his laptop.</p>
<p>“What’re you doing up?” John asks, voice rough with sleep.</p>
<p>“Woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep,” Alex nods to his laptop, “Thought I might as well do something useful. Did you know that 10% of the profits from Liberty are going into an unspecified account every month?”</p>
<p>John, far too tired to have anything register in his brain, blinks at Alex sleepily. “Okay. I’m gonna go shower and get… this off.” he gestures to his chest, and Alex smirks to himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When John comes out of the shower twenty minutes later, Alex is still sitting at his laptop, and John rolls his eyes. He pulls out a suitcase from under his bed, and Alex’s eyes flicker up briefly to watch him, a melancholic pang in his chest. John methodically picks out clothes and things he might need when visiting his family, and when he’s done he sits on the bed, mentally exhausted.</p>
<p>He has no idea what to expect when he sees his father again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>john l:</em> so guess what<br/><em>john l:</em> my dad called</p>
<p><em>eliza s:</em> oh shit why?</p>
<p><em>john l:</em> he wants me to go back<br/><em>john l:</em> bc of my brother<br/><em>john l:</em> my flight is tomorrow<br/><em>john l:</em> :(</p>
<p><em>eliza s:</em> wait like go back for a visit or go back go back???</p>
<p><em>john l:</em> just for a visit!! god can you imagine <br/><em>john l:</em> not a chance in hell id go back for good jfc</p>
<p><em>eliza s:</em> oh thank god<br/><em>eliza s:</em> thought I was going to have to deal with a heartbroken alex on my doorstep<br/><em>eliza s:</em> and let me tell you, that is not fun</p>
<p><em>john l:</em> ha i bet</p>
<p><em>eliza s:</em> so what are you going to do?</p>
<p><em>john l:</em> go back i guess? its for my brother<br/><em>john l:</em> im dreading seeing my dad</p>
<p><em>eliza s:</em> yeah I bet :(<br/><em>eliza s:</em> you can text me if you need to talk when you’re there! I’ll put my phone on loud for you :)</p>
<p><em>john l:</em> the highest honor<br/><em>john l:</em> thanks e :)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who’re you talking to?” Alex asks, seeing John smile at his phone. “Uh, I mean, I wasn’t asking in like, a weird way. Just making conversation.” he quickly backtracks.</p>
<p>“Eliza,” John tells him, not seeming to care that Alex asked. “I was just telling her about my dad.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Alex nods, and thinks back to that time he saw the two of them outside the coffee shop together. “Hey, did I ever tell you that you guys would make a really attractive couple?”</p>
<p>John looks at him quizzically. “We’re both gay, Alexander.”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah, but that's not what I meant,” he explains. “Like, visually and aesthetically you’d be a very appealing couple. You’re hot as fuck, J, and she’s very pretty, y’know? It’d work.”</p>
<p>“I can be pretty too!” John insists, biting back a laugh.</p>
<p>“Mmhmm,” Alex agrees, leaving his work at the table and walking over to where John is standing next to the bed. He drapes his arms over John’s shoulders, leaning in to press a kiss against John’s neck. He can feel John’s pulse, beating against his lips when he murmurs, “You’re very pretty too, J.”</p>
<p>Alex feels John’s laugh before he hears it, low and rumbling in his chest, and he pouts when John pulls away to check the notification he just got. Sighing, he goes back to his work, mentally making a list of the things he still has to do and when they have to be done by. </p>
<p>Checking his emails, he clicks on one he’s just received. It’s from Washington, saying that he wants a report on variable costs and also, does Alex think a new espresso machine is a good idea, and if so, which one. Alex tacks that onto his mental to-do list, trying not to think about how many other things are on there.</p>
<p>He already has a tab open for looking up Theo’s husband, so he decides to look into that first. It’s interesting, actually, and the info Burr has already given him turned out to be useful - some articles about business dealings between the company her husband works for, and something about money laundering. By the looks of it the journalists had been paid off in the end, as no follow up articles were ever published. If Alex can find proof that her husband is directly linked to all of this, then she’ll have a pretty solid case, he thinks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>hammie:</em> hey laf you know how rich people do shit<br/><em>hammie:</em> do you know about like<br/><em>hammie:</em> how to find out if people are laundering money</p>
<p><em>french fry:</em> laundering money?<br/><em>french fry:</em> what<br/><em>french fry:</em> is that washing money?<br/><em>french fry:</em> that is what laundering means or not?</p>
<p><em>hammie:</em> oh<br/><em>hammie:</em> i mean kinda<br/><em>hammie:</em> its an illegal thing</p>
<p><em>french fry:</em> oh<br/><em>french fry:</em> the only illegal things i know about are <br/><em>french fry:</em> how to stay in america illegally<br/><em>french fry:</em> and weed<br/><em>french fry:</em> do you remember i almost got deported!<br/><em>french fry:</em> that was an exciting and quite scary experience</p>
<p><em>hammie:</em> oh shit yeah that was messed up<br/><em>hammie:</em> wait tell me about the weed though<br/><em>hammie:</em> do you have a guy <br/><em>hammie:</em> mine moved away</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alex, momentarily forgetting his original question, looks up at John. “Hey J,” he asks. “I dunno how we’ve been friends… or whatever for this long without this coming up but do you smoke weed?”</p>
<p>“Uh, I guess? I mean I’m not gonna turn it down if someone offers, but I don’t like, buy it regularly or anything,” John tells him, looking confused. “Why?”</p>
<p>“Oh, nothing important, just Laf,” Alex says, not really explaining anything. “Hey, what time do you have to go in to work?”</p>
<p>“My shift starts at 3.”</p>
<p>“Perfect,” Alex smiles. “I have class at 3.30. I’ll walk with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John is having a terrible day at work.</p>
<p>So far, three soccer moms have bitched at him for various reasons - the first asked for iced coffee, then complained it was too cold, the second insisted he had used full fat milk instead of low fat and made him remake the drink as she watched him pour the milk, then still tried to say it was full fat, and the third wanted a cheese and tomato panini but she wanted it with no tomato and with extra ham and when he grabbed a ham and cheese panini instead, she bitched at him that, um, <em>actually,</em> that wasn’t what she ordered. Not only that, but Jefferson came in, and by that point John had been so riled up it wouldn’t have taken much for him to tackle him to the ground. Lafayette had stepped in before he had a chance, however, and John had watched in open-mouthed shock as Laf greeted Jefferson like they were old friends.</p>
<p>When he’d asked Laf about it after, he had simply shrugged and told John that he and Jefferson were, in fact, old friends. </p>
<p>Then, to top it off, he received an email notifying him that he only has a few more weeks to send in his portfolio if he wants to apply to the illustration course he has his eye on, which means he only has a few weeks to make a life-altering decision.</p>
<p>Great.</p>
<p>When Eliza and Angelica walk through the door it’s like a breath of fresh air, but the scowl is so ingrained onto John’s face that he can’t lift it in time.</p>
<p>“Oh dear, what’s wrong? Two medium chai lattes, by the way.” Angelica says, glancing at the look on his face.</p>
<p>“Ugh, everything,” John groans, making their drinks. “Seeing my dad tomorrow and had to deal with, just, the worst customers earlier, and then Jefferson was here, and I’m stressed about college, and, ugh.” </p>
<p>Eliza pats his hand, a sympathetic smile on her face. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>“Oh god, no.”</p>
<p>“Well, do you want to sit with us? We have half an hour before we need to go pick up Peggy, but we wanted to sit in here anyway.” she offers. John looks at the clock, and calls over to his coworkers that he’s taking his break now. Joining them at their table in the corner, he ignores the gnawing feeling in his stomach reminding him of all he has to be stressed about.</p>
<p>Angelica takes a sip of her tea, and leans back. “John, did Eliza tell you about her girlfriend yet?”</p>
<p>“Shut up, Angie, you know I’ve only told you and Peggy so far,” Eliza admonishes her sister and turns to look at John, who’s waiting eagerly to find out more. “We-ell… you remember I told you about that girl from my Gender Studies class? Maria?”</p>
<p>“Is she the one you were making out with at the club the other night?” he asks, grinning.</p>
<p>“Oh god, you saw that too?” she covers her face, blushing. “I’m not usually one for PDA, but after a few drinks I guess I stop caring. Anyway, yeah, that was her. We’re, um, dating now.”</p>
<p>John smiles widely, lightly hitting Eliza’s shoulder. “That’s great, Eliza! I’m so happy for you! Do you have any pictures?”</p>
<p>She nods, still blushing, and pulls up a photo on her phone. It’s of Eliza and a pretty, curly haired girl, both smiling brightly at the camera. “Here,” she says shyly. “This is her.”</p>
<p>“She’s cute,” John notes. “Not my type, but cute.”</p>
<p>“Pfft, yeah, your type is of the more masculine variety,” Angelica laughs. “Specifically, the Alexander Hamilton variety. How’s that going, by the way?”</p>
<p>“It’s good,” he says, smiling as he thinks about Alex. “I mean, we’re not actually dating yet, which I-”</p>
<p>“Wait, you’re not <em>actually</em> dating? What do you mean?” the oldest Schuyler sister interrupts him.</p>
<p>“Well, we’ve never spoken about it, I guess? We just kinda… started kissing ‘nd shit at some point.” John says, feeling very put on the spot. </p>
<p>“Doesn’t he literally live with you?”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah, but- I mean, that’s just because he has nowhere else to go.”</p>
<p>“Ah yes, and I suppose him sleeping in your bed with you is also because there’s nowhere else he could <em>possibly</em> sleep in your apartment?” Eliza asks, one eyebrow raised and a teasing smile on her face.</p>
<p>“Well, I-” John stops, thinking about it. He opens his mouth a couple times, trying to think of a suitable argument, but can’t think of one. “Hm.”</p>
<p>“Oops,” Angelica laughs. “Sorry, John. Didn't mean to send you into an existential crisis about your relationship status, or lack thereof.”</p>
<p>“Angie!” scolds Eliza. “John, don’t worry about it. Oh, has Peggy shown you her designs for the fashion show yet, by the way? You guys are going to look incredible!”</p>
<p>The conversation continues, but John can’t help but think about what the girls had said. He and Alex aren’t dating, it’s true, but what they’re doing isn’t exactly the epitome of friendship, either. He likes Alex, likes him a lot, so they’re not just friends with benefits either, because there are way too many feelings involved for that. But what if Alex thinks they’re just friends with benefits? Shit. He really needs to talk to Alex about this, but he has no time, his flight leaves tomorrow, and, well, what if Alex really does just see it as a purely sexual thing, with no feelings involved? If John tells him he likes him, wants them to be more than friends, will Alex just laugh at him? What if it means the end of their not-relationship?</p>
<p>This is all just going to have to wait until after he gets back from South Carolina, John decides. Push the problem away until it’s not a problem anymore, that’s a healthy coping mechanism, right? If he never talks to Alex about it (or at least, not for a week or so until he’s back in New York), then Alex can’t reject him.</p>
<p>Yeah, that’s a solid plan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn’t have to come all this way with me, you know.” John tells him, tugging on a strand of hair that’s come loose from Alex’s bun.</p>
<p>“I know,” Alex smiles. “I wanted to. It didn’t feel right to let you go alone.”</p>
<p>“And they say chivalry is dead,” John teases, and Alex can’t help but pull him into a brief but passionate kiss. He pulls away reluctantly, and they stand with their foreheads touching for a moment before John sighs and steps back. “Okay, I really should go. I’ll text you when I land.”</p>
<p>Alex watches him leave, stewing in self pity at the loss of his - well, they’re not boyfriends, they’ve never spoken about that. But he misses John nonetheless. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> i miss you<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> also the line for security is the longest fucking line i have ever seen<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> its like monday at 8am in liberty but 10x worse</p>
<p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> oof that bad?<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> i thought your fancy schmancy first class ticket would get you special treatment</p>
<p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> hey tbf my dad bought the ticket not me</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John shakes his head at his phone, grinning. He just knew Alex wouldn’t be able to pass up a chance to poke fun at the fact that John was flying first class (even though his dad really had bought the ticket and John had had no say in the matter). </p>
<p>Alex stopped replying and John, looking at the time, realises he must be starting his shift soon. Resigning himself to the fact that Alex wasn’t going to be around to distract him from the impending doom that was seeing his father again, John puts in his headphones and picks out a podcast to listen to as he waits for the line to keep moving. </p>
<p>He’s through security and is waiting at the gate when his phone pings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> okay so i might have punched jefferdick<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> at work<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> but it was entirely jsufitied<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> justified</p>
<p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> oh i believe you<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> what happened??</p>
<p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> he came in and asked where you were<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> and then he called you my ‘rabid boytoy’<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> (hot)<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> oh and then he started saying sth about like<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> your punch being weak <br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> even though he still has a black eye lol<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> so i punched him in the other eye</p>
<p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> alexander<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> you can’t go around punching people to defend me<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> is what id say if i was a responsible person <br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> but what im gonna say is<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> heeeeeell yeah baby<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> how did he react???</p>
<p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> he swore at me and left<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> didnt hit back tho so thats a bonus in my book</p>
<p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> ha<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> nice<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> wish i couldve been there to see the look on his face<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> miss you<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> gotta go flight is boarding<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> ill text you when i land :))</p>
<p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> have a safe flight!!!<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> dont die pls</p>
<p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> ill do my best<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> ttyl </p>
<p> </p>
<p>John boards the plane, the feeling of doom in his chest growing heavier. He realises that, just maybe, the true crime and murder podcast he’s been listening to for the past couple hours isn’t the best choice when already feeling apprehensive, but it’s too late to change that now. At least he’d had the sense to skip the episode about a plane crash. </p>
<p>The plane does not crash, thankfully, and John spends the two hour flight doing sudoku on his iPad, listening to more true crime podcasts, and staring out of the window, thinking about Alex. He misses Alex, like actually misses him, John realises with a start. He hasn’t felt like this about anyone, well, ever, really. Sure, he had been completely infatuated with Francis, but that was in high school. He was 15, coming to terms with the fact that he was gay, and Francis had been there to get him through it. John had basically imprinted on him, he thinks, and can’t help but snigger when a picture of the ugly cgi baby from Twilight pops up in his head. A flight attendant passing by gives him an odd look, but he can’t stop laughing at the mental image. His fingers twitch and he wishes he could text Alex about it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> plane has landed nd im still alive<br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> tho kinda wishing i wasnt <br/><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> about to get to arrivals, my dads waiting for me there</p>
<p><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> for what its worth<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> im very glad youre alive<br/><em>2nd hottest liberty boy:</em> good luck &lt;3</p>
<p><em>hottest liberty boy:</em> thank you &lt;3</p>
<p> </p>
<p>John braces himself as he walks through the doors to the arrivals bay of Charleston Airport, eyes searching the crowd for the familiar face of his father. He finds him quickly, eyes honing in on the polished, disapproving look he’s so used to.</p>
<p>“Hello, father.”</p>
<p>“Hello, Jack.”</p>
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